Relational Fidelity - Part 2

RELATIONAL FIDELITY - PART 2

Remember, the point is to cover things that prevent you from being victorious or overcoming defeat. If fidelity is a problem for you I have a BOOK, DVD, or CD for you. Click one of the links below to begin having victory over your sexual temptations.

Question: Does that mean that I cannot have friends of the opposite sex or talk about things with them that is important to me?

Answer: It is natural to have friends of both genders outside of marriage. However, you made a contractual commitment to only one person. You made a vow before God to that person. Therefore, your husband or wife gets first claim on your time, attention, and emotional energy.

Do you spend your time with someone else of the opposite sex pouring your heart out and your emotional needs out to them? You wife or husband is who should be getting that heart pouring and that conversation. They should be the ones who are receiving the information on how you feel about your relationship with them or what is going on in your life. Information in dealing with your relationship should NOT go outside of the relationship unless it is for advice or counselling… that includes chatting with your girlfriends about intimate things and problems in your relationships. Yes, we all need friends but your best friend should be the one that you are married to. He or she is the one that you should be going to first. I understand that sometimes we need someone else to talk to. That will happen but your first and foremost conversation should come to your significant other. Perhaps if the communication was happening there, the problem would be taken care of and you wouldn’t feel necessary to share it elsewhere.

Where the mind/heart goes, the body follows. If you are pouring out your heart someone other than your significant other, you may be forming an attachment with them and vice versa unwittingly. There have been many of times when a relationship has gone sour just because someone had a friend and used them in this way and an attachment was formed. So, when a disagreement came, the husband or wife would let come out of their mouths this saying… “Well, atleast ______ understands me!” It is something that causes you to feel as though you have a right to be with someone else and causes you to match your significant other with this person whom you have been confiding in.

Also, when we talk about our mate to our friends, they form a conclusion on what they think about our mate according to what we share with them and how you feel about them. So, it will also cause a strain in your relationship because your friends may treat him/her disagreeably because of how they feel about you. Do you really want a problem with your friends and your husband or wife not getting along? You will be in the middle and eventually, it will cause you to have to make a choice that you will not want to make.  (As mentioned earlier, if it is dealing with abuse… of course you want to tell somebody.) If it doesn’t deal with abuse, then don’t be so quick to share with your friends every disagreement, argument, and sexual encounter that you had with your spouse.

Any time that you are giving your time, attention and emotional energy to someone else and your marriage partner isn’t receiving it, you are wrongfully taking what rightly belongs to your husband or wife and giving it to someone else. That is a form of infidelity.

If you struggle with sexual issues, including fidelity, consider purchasing one of the BOOKS, DVD, or CD below.  These discuss the importance of sexual purity and the struggle that each one of us go through.

                                                         FOR WOMEN

                                   

   Click Here >>>>>     BOOK                                    CD

                                                            FOR MEN

                                          

    Click Here >>>>>           BOOK                                   DVD

      
 

Question:  Just because I have a friendship with the opposite sex doesn’t mean it is going to become something sexual does it?

Join me on Friday as we answer

this question in dealing with "Fidelity".

Relational Fidelity - Part 1

RELATIONAL FIDELITY

NOTE: (Please understand that we are not talking about any type of abusive relationships here. If you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship you should seek help to get out of it.)

Take a look at the nouns in dealing with fidelity. It is such a wealth of words that give a better understanding that it isn’t just in dealing with sex.

FIDELITY (nouns): allegiance, conscientiousness, constantia, devotedness, devotion, dutiful adherence, dutifulness, faith, faithfulness, fealty, fides, good faith, homage, loyalty, stanchness, steadfastness, trueness, trustiness, trustworthiness.

What does “fidelity” mean and is it still relevant in our society today? Fidelity means the quality of being faithful; strict observance of promises, duties, etc.; adherence to a person or party to which one is bound; loyalty; adherence to the marriage contract; adherence to truth; veracity; honesty; faithfulness; adherence to right; careful and exact observance of duty, or discharge of obligations.

Fidelity entails physical, emotional, and mental faithfulness.  It is remaining faithful to your partner. 

It may be important for you, as partners, to sit down and talk about what fidelity means to you? Their idea of fidelity may be something totally different than your idea. It is good to know where you both stand in that area so as to avoid any conflicts there.

SEXUAL FANTASIES

It may come a time when you dream of someone else in a sexual manner. Unfortunately, we cannot always control our dreams. However, do you give that dream conscious thought when you are awake and entertain the idea?  Then you are still not being faithful to your partner because you are allowing a lust to build up within you that you’re entertaining instead of crushing.

Sexual fantasies outside of marriage deal with mentally rehearsing the actions. If you actually performed these fantasies, it would bring about immense emotional pain to husband or wife.  It's a self-centered behavior that focuses on personal gratification.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:

What are you putting in front of your eyes?  What are you watching on your tv, computer, or phone?  What types of magazines, books, and posters are you allowing yourself to peek at in the stores or even purchase in dealing with sexually oriented and pornographic items?  These are other ways that we entertain infidelity.

Remember, actions are formed in the thoughts first.  What you put in your mind stays in your mind.  We, especially men, are visually stimulated.  To see these types of sexual materials or purposely cause yourself to remember sexual dreams in dealing with someone other than your partner is a stumbling block to your relationship.  Remember, the point is to cover things that prevent you from being victorious or overcoming defeat.  If fidelity is a problem for you I have a BOOK, DVD, or CD for you.  Click one of the links below to begin having victory over your sexual temptations.


                         FOR MEN                                                    FOR WOMEN

          BOOK                       DVD                               BOOK                        CD
                 
        
Your state of mind decides your behavior.  If your mind is on a specific sexual act and you do not correct it, it will continue to plague you until you perform it.  Some of the things that you're thinking about sexually may be shared with your partner .  It may be that you can work together to rid some of the frustrations in dealing with those thoughts.

Question (Ask yourself this question):  If you engage in sexual fantasies without your partner, will it increase the likelihood of committing adultery?

Honest Answer:  YES!

By participating in sexual fantasies without your partner, you are encouraging the fantasy-fueled acts of lust and selfishness which can result in adultery.  If you refocus your mind on your partner, then when an intimate opportunity arises, you both can be more sexually fulfilled and enjoy greater happiness sexually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and relationally.

Question:  Does fidelity include the emotions?

Answer:  Yes!

Question:  Why?

Answer:  Because a successful marriage or relationship requires giving sole and complete commitment to your mate, including your emotions.

Question:  Does this mean that I cannot have friends of the opposite sex or talk about things with them that are important to me?

Join me again on Wednesday as we

delve into answering that question.

The Importance of Standards

The Importance of Standards

I got this story from one of my study booklets. I found it interesting and wanted to share it with you.

There was a farmer’s son in Ethiopia. He was very bright, but his parents saw no need to send him to high school. After all, why would a farmer need so much education? But the son had a burning desire to study, and because his parents recognized his special gifts, they allowed him to enter secondary school. He was older than most students in high school, but he was determined to do well.

The secondary school was some distance from home, so he rented a small house in which to live. Every weekend he returned home to see his parents and to help on the farm. When he returned to school, his mother made sure that he had enough food to last a week.

He noticed that many students at the secondary school were Christian. He had seen their churches in the neighborhood and wondered what they believed. He listened as students shared their beliefs with him. He was curious about some of their beliefs. His Christian friends invited him to visit the church in town, and he accepted the invitation. Soon he was attending regularly. His friends taught him about the beliefs that he was curious of and in time he joined the baptismal class.

He began telling his family and non-Christian friends what he had discovered. Some, including his father, thought he was crazy; but others listened to what he said and how he had changed in dealing with his behavior. However, when he was baptized, his parents sent him away from his home. His friends saw how he was treated and noticed that he did not retaliate when treated badly. One by one those with whom he had shared his faith followed him to the church.

STANDARDS

What is your state of mind?

Where do you stand?

When you are on the pathway to where you are headed in completing the goals you have set up for yourself, have you considered the standards that you will go by? Have you considered how far you will go and what lines not to cross?

The young boy in the aforementioned story set some Christian standards that he would go by. He would still act in love to those who even treated him badly. What are your standards in your search for work, wealth, acknowledgement, etc?

If you have a career goal set for yourself, I hope you also have a standard by which you measure yourself. You see, some people will decide that they will make it to the top no matter whom they step upon. Some people decide that it is ok to “fudge” a little on their taxes or tell a “little white lie” here and there to get what they think is ahead of the game. Some people think that if they don’t get it now at all cost, then it never will happen. What are the things, no matter how small, that you do to get by that may be questionable in dealing with your standards and the type of person that you choose to be?

When building a career or business, it is extremely important to be honest in your dealings with others. You will gain their trust and their business in return. If you are “fudging” here and there a little along the way, eventually you will be found out and will lose their trust and their business. In dealing with families, your word is your bond. It must be trustworthy and followed through. If you speak and give your word and don’t keep it, your family, especially the children, will not respect you and will remember it and bring it back up to you one day.

When setting up goals for a business, set up the standards that you, and all you employ, will go by. Stick to that so that all will see that you are an upright person. Your standards identify your character… the type of person you are. Everyone will see that by your words and actions. High Standards is something that is missing in the business world today. Be strong in your decision to be fair and to do what is moral. Step out of the mold of this dog-eat-dog society and have a state of mind that says I will go this far and I will go no further.

The decision to have integrity and high standards will bring joy to your family and friends, customers to your business, put money in your pockets, and give you a feeling deep down of satisfaction, knowing that you made it and you did it the right way.

Self-Reliance - Part 2

We have been discussing the importance of being self-reliant. 

The synonyms for self-reliant are:

1.  Autonomous

2.  On one's own

3.  Self-contained

4.  Self-governing

5.  Self-sufficient

6.  Self-supporting

7.  Self-sustaining

Having these qualities are important in anyone and being self-reliant is good.  However, as you probably also know, satan has a counterfeit for being self-reliant.  It goes to both extremes of either not being reliable at all or being "over" self-reliant.

Question: Is there such a thing as being “Over” Self-Reliant?

Answer: Yes, definitely and it is something that has damaged families, friends, churches, and businesses over the millinnia of time.

Being over self-reliant is NOT good.  It is when we feel as though we cannot rely on others. How will we gain the trust to rely on someone else to accomplish what needs to be done if I feel uncomfortable with anyone else doing the work except me? You have heard of the famous phrase, “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.” Although that makes your self-esteem soar, it means that you are fighting alone. Do you really want to go at it alone, without any support system, without any help, without anyone to have your back, without anyone to talk to about your progress, etc.?  If so, what a lonely world you choose for yourself to be in when it can be so much better than that.

I found a phrase online that I like better. “If you want something done right, and you have to do it yourself, you probably are not a very good communicator.”  However, I like this one the best:  "If you want something done right, you can do it yourself.  But, if you want a lot of things done right, communicate!"

God did not create you as an island unto yourself.  Everything you do in lift affects you and everyone who comes in contact with you.  God created you as a personable being.  If you succeed in this world, you did not do it on your own, someone would have helped you to your success whether you want to admit it or not.  The questions is, why try to do it on your own when you have many people who love you and want to see you succeed and probably are willing to help.

Question:  Is there something wrong with being self-reliant?

Answer:  Of course not! It is very important to be self-reliant, dependable, independent, able to take care of your own business.  However, the problem comes in when you think that YOU are the ONLY reliable one and that no one else is dependable.  It may mean that you have a problem delegating tasks.

Do you have delegation problems?

To delegate takes skill and trust.

What is “delegation”? It is the ability to get things done by effectively assigning task responsibility and authority to others. This is something that is crucial for survival as a manager, supervisor, or anyone who is trying to own their own business or just to get ahead.  Team play must come into effect.

Instead of trying to do it all yourself, learn to ask yourself a question AND ANSWER IT AS HONESTLY AND AS OBJECTIVELY AS POSSIBLE!

Ask: Who is the right person for this task?

Answer: you will find there are specific people who are busy out of necessity.  They must be extraordinarily organized, able to prioritize, and focus on finishing tasks.  So if you want to make sure something gets done, just give it to someone who gets a lot of things done.

Problem: If you always think that you are the only one who can get it done right, you are limiting yourself because you are overloading self and preventing more work from getting done by more people. You set a limit on yourself by this type of thinking because you can only do but so much, therefore, your family, your friends, your job, and your health will suffer because of that selfish type of thinking.

As leaders, the only way to leverage our efforts is to inspire the efforts of those around us.

What is leverage?

“Leverage is the use of a small investment to gain a very high return." If you have to do everything yourself, you get no leverage. However, if you inspire those around you, if you communicate instructions well, and if your colleagues buy into your desired outcome, you will, collectively, achieve results far beyond what one person alone could accomplish.”

             The 10 commandments on How to delegate

                  1. Choose the right person – Can this person do it atleast 80%

                     as well as you can or can you train them to?

                  2. Decide which part of the work they will do.

                  3. Communicate the desired outcome and the steps necessary

                      to reach that goal.

                  4. make sure that you will be able to monitor the progress

                      of task execution and know if the task is actually completed.

                  5. Be supportive so they can accomplish what they set out

                      to do and be willing to answer questions… if asked.

                  6. Don’t be an over-the-shoulder watcher watching their

                      every move; Let them go about the task the best way they

                      see fit and give them a chance to correct their own errors.

                  7. Be patient to see the overall outcome, don’t rush them or

                      it may not be as well done.

                  8. Be respectful even when it isn’t quite how you wanted it.

                  9.  Be positively affirming that they are doing a good job.

                  10.  Realize that it may not be exactly as you would have done

                         it but it is still a great job done and is just as good as your

                        work would have been and the desired outcome has been achieved.

What do you do in turn for those who you have been able to rely on?

Well, an idea would be to help them with something that they are trying to accomplish. It is kind of like a win/win exchange.

Try being self-reliant this week and AVOID being over-reliant.  Let your significant other help you out if they want to.  If you are overburdened, seek help from your loved one(s).  Don't wait for them to ask, you ask for the help needed.  You will be surprised how much they want to help you to succeed.  Including your family and friends in your efforts will keep the bonds of the relationship empowered and strong as you work together to fulfill a common goal.

Please feel free to post a comment by clicking on the word "Comments" underneath the post.  I appreciate any feedback and testimonies that you have. 

Also, I encourage you to become a follower on my blog by clicking the top right link that says "Follow".  It will inform you whenever a new post is made, you will be able to make private comments, share issues, and suggest future topics and even supply some additional articles if interested.

Self-Reliance - Part 1

What is Self-Reliance?

Self-Reliance is personal independence, self-sufficiency, and autonomy. The word “rely” is the root word of reliance. It is the capacity to rely on one's own capabilities, and to manage one's own affairs. Can you depend on self to do what is suppose to be done?

Too often we blame others for us not achieving the goals that we have planned. Too often we overlook our part in the failure. Sometimes the blame is on us because we failed to be disciplined enough to manage our own affairs and to do what was needed.

If you cannot rely on self, whom can you rely on and how will others be willing to depend on you? It is important that you are reliable, responsible, and independent. You are adults, you must be, live, and act as adults. You have responsibilities that you must fulfill. There are people depending on you. Yes, you must be self-sufficient.

Question:  Okay, so being self-reliant is good?

Answer:  YES. It is crucial in fulfilling your life's dreams and ambitions.  It is important in relationships also.

Benefits To Being Self-Reliant?

Being self-reliant allows family, friends, employers, etc…

                      *  to know that they can depend on you to get something done.

                      *  to know that you are a trustworthy person

                      *  to know that you won’t fail them.

                      *  it tells your family that they can go to you about anything

                      *  gains you great trust from others

                      *  increases your pride in the work you do

                      *  boosts your self-esteem and causes it to soar

                      *  will get you raises and promotions

                      *  brings joy and pleasure to your family

                      *  something that you can find value in

                      *  seems as if you got it together.

There are so many benefits that it is too numerous to list.

Question:  Does self-reliance depend on your state of mind?

Answer:  Yes, it can.

You ever notice that even though normally you can do something, however, sometimes when you are making mistakes, you try harder and become more anxious about it and make even more mistakes?  It is because of your state of mind.  You... Became... Anxious and when you became anxious you messed up even more.

Questions:  If you make mistakes, does it mean that you are not trustworthy? 

Answer:  Of course not!  We all have our days.  We are NOT superman or superwoman no matter what we may think.  We do not always have it together.

As I work, I find that my work identifies me. If I usually do a good job, it is because what I do represents me and I find value in myself. Therefore, I want to instill value in all that I do or associate myself with.  Sometimes, I may even become a perfectionist about some things because I am identified with it.

However, at times what I do may identify how I feel. If I do a shotty work today, it is more than likely because that is how I was feeling today.  I just wasn't feeling like my own usual dependable self.

This is just to say that, although being self-reliant is important, we won’t always get it right and we are not perfect. Therefore, don't expect yourself always to be perfect and don't expect others to be that way either.  If you are not perfect everyday all day long, then guess what, neither is anyone else.

Question: Is there such a thing as being “Over” Self-Reliant?

Join me next week as we discuss the issues with being "Over" Self-Reliant".

Impatience - Part 3

Steps To Increase Patience

In the "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" episode you have Linus and Sally.  Sally loves Linus so much that she is willing to sacrifice going trick-or-treating and collecting candy.  Linus accepts her sacrifice and encourages her to stay with him to observe when the Great Pumpkin will arrive.  As Sally waits willingly with her love, time passes.  They just sit and sit and sit.  She eventually begins to be absolutely bored and is still waiting but with some doubt that this "Great Pumpkin" will arrive.  Time passes and they continue to just sit and stare, sit and stare.  Finally when snoppy arrives and Linus mistakes him for the "Great Pumpkin", Sally is enraged and threatens to sue him for causing her to miss the trick or treating and the halloween party.  Their friends come and wisk Sally away but Linus chooses to stay and continue waiting patiently.  In the morning, Linus is found sleeping in the pumpkin patch he is taken home to rest.  In all the waiting and the non-appearance of the Great Pumpkin, Linus says that he will come to the pumpkin patch next year.

Here you have 2 people waiting and being patient.  One is waiting for something he believes in, whether it exists or not, his heart is all in it.  The other is waiting with someone she loves and believes in.  She has sacrificed and lost.  She is irate and hurt and gave up her vigil.  He has sacrificed and lost.  However he doesn't let the disappointment get him down and is prepared to patiently wait again for what the future may hold.

Patience may include sacrifice and loss.  However, it will eventually include much gain.  When we are patient, we are able to see beyond what is right in front of us and are able to gain hope for future prospects.

We are continuing with "The Steps To Increase Patience"

6.  Overworked?

Every one of us need a break at one time or another. It is important to realize that you weren’t created to work all day and all night. God even provided the day of rest because He knew our wholistic selves would need it. Do you take a break when your body, mind, or spirit is begging for one? Give in to it. Listen to your body. If it says that you need to stop and relax, then STOP and relax. Take a 15 minute break every day and do sometype of relaxation exercise. There are many relaxation techniques that can be done to help you to just unwind. Watching tv isn’t one of them! Don’t read, don’t be on the computer, just sit in a chair and try to clear mind of all the “stuff” jumbled in it. Close your eyes… DON’T FALL ASLEEP… Take slow deep breaths. Try to have a visual in your mind of the most relaxing and most beautiful place that you can think of. Then, imagine yourself there doing something that you love to do that makes you feel secure, relaxed, protected, free, free, FREE, oh, did I say that more than once? It is because most of us do not feel free. So, think of something that will cause you to feel freedom, feel at liberty and at peace. During this time, if you are holding on to stress and frustration, fear and insecurity, etc let it go and be free.

7.  Keep Focus

Focusing on what is important. All the other small things that rub you the wrong way and irritate you to no end are not important. So don’t waste your time fretting about those frivolous things. Think on the things that are important to you and that makes a huge difference in your life. Think on the things that bring you and your family happiness, joy, and PEACE… that is important. As you spend time thinking on more positive areas, the fretting about the small things will be put more and more to the back burner and will decrease over time. You will find that because you are not fretting about the small “stuff”, you have become more patient for when the big “stuff” happens.

8.  Having Victory over Impatience

I regularly speak about being victorious over things that keeps you back from accomplishing what you desire. This is another stumbling block that does just that. Developing patience is something that will not happen overnight. It takes time. However, before that can happen a change of your state of mind must happen first. Your overall attitude about life must be different than what it was. Your thoughts must be altered and renewed to something more positive. You may have to learn some relaxation techniques to assist you when you start feeling uptight. Although these things take time, if you are consistent in doing what is needed, you will be the victor.

9.  Fill Your Time Wisely

When we feel as if we have nothing to do and are absolutely bored out of our wits, we begin to get anxious about the situations that is forcing us to wait. We are becoming impatient. So, if you can plan ahead of time for these situations by providing activities that will keep you occupied, you can cut impatience off before it begins.

10.  Do Relaxation Techniques

Patience takes time to grow and mature. It is not something that is easy to come by for many people. However, if you find that you struggle with being impatient and want to correct this issue, try learning some relaxation techniques. If you don’t know of any, just go to www.google.com and type in “relaxation techniques”. You will get a whole list of free education on how to relax. Try one of them, if it doesn’t work for you, try another. The point is learning to relax your body and mind so that you are releasing the stress and anxiety that's inside of you. When you finish the technique you should be less stressful, have a boost in feelings of joy and serenity, and healthier because your body is no longer being poisoned because of the stress.

11.  Try to Help Out

Many times a situation that occurs in which we are becoming impatient, we may be able to do something about it… other than complaining. Sometimes, a situation that is making you wait is because a person just needs a hand. For example:  perhaps an elderly woman has too much to carry and is walking slowly in your way and you can’t get by.  Why not carry the heaviest bag for her to help her.  It will take your mind off of your inconsiderate impatience and put it where it should be in considering a situation that is before you that you can assist with. In the end, you will probably make a friend and you will feel better for helping. Otherwise, if there is nothing you can do about the situation, don’t be judgmental, don’t get irritated, just ignore your plight of having to wait and be observant of your surrounding. This will help you to come out of self... from being subjective to being objective.

You Do Not Always Get What You Want Linus

Though we sincerely believe, plan, work at and wait patiently for something to happen, we do not always get what we want.  The question is, where do you go from here and what do you do?  After working and working at it and it doesn't pan out, do you keep working at it though the evidence shows that it will never happen?  Or, do you finally change what you are thinking, what you are doing to get a different outcome.

Albert Einstein defines insanity as:  doing the same thing over & over again & expecting different results.

Change is necessary, if you change your attitude, you change your state of mind, you change your behavior and actions, therefore, you change the outcome of your life and you are one step closer to reaching the goal that you have planned for yourself.  So be pateint, if it doesn't work out, accept it and move on to the next great thing and be willing to change.

DECIDE-ACT-CHANGE

Impatience - Part 2

Steps to Increase Your Patience

Below are some steps that can help you to overcome the sense of impatience.

1.  Keeping Track of Situations that Trigger impatience

Have a piece of paper ready and for a couple of weeks write down every time you are feeling impatient no matter how small it is. Write the date and whatever triggered that feeling. Do this each and every day. Be consistent. As you do this, you will become more aware of the factors, issues, and circumstances that cause the impatience and you can be better prepared for them.

Sometimes impatience will catch you by surprise where you just blow you top in hasty anger. You may feel worried or anxious about something. You may have concerns about family and work. Just keep track of each time and each situation and you will be able to see what it triggering the feelings of impatience. Something is at the center that feeling of impatience that you are having and it may not be something pleasant to realize but it is something that must be considered if you are to overcome this problem.

There may be areas in your life that are unhealthy or destructive. Relationships may need to be enhanced. Circumstances may need to be changed. If you keep tract, you will be able to identify some of these areas. As you go over the list, you will be able to be more objective in the situation. That objectivity will allow you to think outside of the box to get to the core issue.

2.  Stop Rushing

When you feel as if you are being pulled tightly in multiple directions, you become more impatient and short tempered with others. i.e.: You are running late for work and your child, whom you have to drop off at school, isn’t ready yet. You yell and scream to try to hurry him not realizing the hurt and damage you may have caused in your coarse comunication. Why does it seem as if you are always in a rush? Did you prepare what was necessary to be on time?

Perhaps you should try a prioritization list also known as a “To Do” list. In the evening, make a list of everything that you need to for the following day and if any of them have a specific time when they need to be done… put those first with the time written down. Be realistic in the amount of time that it will take to complete the tasks. Learn to prioritize what is more important. Do one thing, check it off, do another, check it off. That way you are focusing on one thing at a time and you will not fee as rushed. On top of that, you will be able to see what you have accomplished for that day and be encouraged.

If it is too much to do and they all have to be done that day, seek help. Perhaps your children can help by cleaning the kitchen or laundry or other household things. Perhaps your husband can drop the kids off at practice this time. Plan your day with appropriate time for awakening in the morning to get out on time without rushing. It will cause you a more peaceful and relaxing attitude and your family will be happier for it.

3. Expect the Best but Be Prepared for the Worst

When you plan a trip, there is always something that gets left behind or something that happens that wasn’t planned for. It is ok. You must learn to be flexible. While we want the best to happen, it is important to be wise enough to plan for if the best doesn’t happen. Don’t expect what people just cannot give. Be realistic and accepting. Be forgiving and gracious and remember that you aren’t perfect either.

4. Forgive yourself

As I said in the previous paragraph, you aren’t perfect either. There are going to be times when although you expect the best of yourself, you are going to fall short. Don’t lost heart and don’t lose your patience. Accept it and move on ever trying to better yourself.

5.  Release

There are some things that you just will not be able to fix. There are some issues that will stay there to test your patience that you will not be able to do anything about. However, because you now know that it is a trigger, you can be prepared to meet it head on without being concerned about losing your patience. So, take one step at a time. Make an effort to be more patience with the little things and you will eventually develop the patience of Job that wil bring you through many triggerhappy situations. Think about the famous prayer below and pray it frequently if releasing is an issue for you.

                    "Lord, give me the strength to accept

                  the things I cannot change,

                  the courage to change the things I can,

                  and the wisdom to know the difference."

Start putting into practice some of these ideas this week and then join me next week as we continue going over "Steps To Increase Your Patience".