Relational Fidelity - Part 1

RELATIONAL FIDELITY

NOTE: (Please understand that we are not talking about any type of abusive relationships here. If you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship you should seek help to get out of it.)

Take a look at the nouns in dealing with fidelity. It is such a wealth of words that give a better understanding that it isn’t just in dealing with sex.

FIDELITY (nouns): allegiance, conscientiousness, constantia, devotedness, devotion, dutiful adherence, dutifulness, faith, faithfulness, fealty, fides, good faith, homage, loyalty, stanchness, steadfastness, trueness, trustiness, trustworthiness.

What does “fidelity” mean and is it still relevant in our society today? Fidelity means the quality of being faithful; strict observance of promises, duties, etc.; adherence to a person or party to which one is bound; loyalty; adherence to the marriage contract; adherence to truth; veracity; honesty; faithfulness; adherence to right; careful and exact observance of duty, or discharge of obligations.

Fidelity entails physical, emotional, and mental faithfulness.  It is remaining faithful to your partner. 

It may be important for you, as partners, to sit down and talk about what fidelity means to you? Their idea of fidelity may be something totally different than your idea. It is good to know where you both stand in that area so as to avoid any conflicts there.

SEXUAL FANTASIES

It may come a time when you dream of someone else in a sexual manner. Unfortunately, we cannot always control our dreams. However, do you give that dream conscious thought when you are awake and entertain the idea?  Then you are still not being faithful to your partner because you are allowing a lust to build up within you that you’re entertaining instead of crushing.

Sexual fantasies outside of marriage deal with mentally rehearsing the actions. If you actually performed these fantasies, it would bring about immense emotional pain to husband or wife.  It's a self-centered behavior that focuses on personal gratification.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:

What are you putting in front of your eyes?  What are you watching on your tv, computer, or phone?  What types of magazines, books, and posters are you allowing yourself to peek at in the stores or even purchase in dealing with sexually oriented and pornographic items?  These are other ways that we entertain infidelity.

Remember, actions are formed in the thoughts first.  What you put in your mind stays in your mind.  We, especially men, are visually stimulated.  To see these types of sexual materials or purposely cause yourself to remember sexual dreams in dealing with someone other than your partner is a stumbling block to your relationship.  Remember, the point is to cover things that prevent you from being victorious or overcoming defeat.  If fidelity is a problem for you I have a BOOK, DVD, or CD for you.  Click one of the links below to begin having victory over your sexual temptations.


                         FOR MEN                                                    FOR WOMEN

          BOOK                       DVD                               BOOK                        CD
                 
        
Your state of mind decides your behavior.  If your mind is on a specific sexual act and you do not correct it, it will continue to plague you until you perform it.  Some of the things that you're thinking about sexually may be shared with your partner .  It may be that you can work together to rid some of the frustrations in dealing with those thoughts.

Question (Ask yourself this question):  If you engage in sexual fantasies without your partner, will it increase the likelihood of committing adultery?

Honest Answer:  YES!

By participating in sexual fantasies without your partner, you are encouraging the fantasy-fueled acts of lust and selfishness which can result in adultery.  If you refocus your mind on your partner, then when an intimate opportunity arises, you both can be more sexually fulfilled and enjoy greater happiness sexually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and relationally.

Question:  Does fidelity include the emotions?

Answer:  Yes!

Question:  Why?

Answer:  Because a successful marriage or relationship requires giving sole and complete commitment to your mate, including your emotions.

Question:  Does this mean that I cannot have friends of the opposite sex or talk about things with them that are important to me?

Join me again on Wednesday as we

delve into answering that question.