How To Avoid Falling For A Jerk... OR Jerkette Part 5
THE RAM MODEL
How “RAM” Relationship Attachment Model exposes jerks, protects you from blinding love, and provides you with a map for pacing your relationship
"The Relationship Attachment Model (RAM) is a picture of the bonding links that interact in a developing relationship"
Let's define the words on the Model:
Know - Be aware of through observation, inquiry, or information; have knowledge or information concerning.
Trust - Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
NOUN: confidence - faith - credit - reliance - belief. VERB: believe - confide - rely - credit - hope.
Rely - Depend on with full trust or confidence. Synonyms: trust - depend - confide - lean - believe - count on.
Commit - Pledge or bind to a certain course or policy. Synonyms: consign - entrust - do
Touch - Come so close to (an object) as to be or come into contact with it. An act of bringing a part of one's body, typically one's hand, into contact with someone.
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Question: What are the 5 features of the RAM?
Answer:
- The RAM portrays the 5 sources of love and closeness.
- The RAM measures the closeness in a relationship.
a) Situational Domain - The lowest level of "know"
b) Relational Domain - "Associate" with
c) Personal Domain - More intimate and personal
- Knowledge (or intimacy) - To know someone, it takes lots of Talk + Togetherness + Time
- The RAM explains the logic of love
- The RAM portrays safe relationship: beginning from right to left, each level should not exceed the previous level.
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It is important for you to get to know people in different settings so that it is NOT an incubator controlled setting.
Time Scale - Averages of time it takes for the following:
It usually will take about 9-12 months for a decision to work out relationship or marriage.
It usually takes 6-9 months fixing areas that may be a problem.
People will usually go through 4-6 months of doubts.
It usually takes at least 90 days before a person's pattern shows.
SO, let's make sure that we take the appropriate amount of time it takes to truly get to know someone before we allow trust, rely commit, and touch to happen... Knowing is #1.
AGAIN: beginning from right to left of the RAM model, each level should not exceed the previous level.
Join me again on December 1st as we go through "How To Avoid Falling For A Jerk... OR Jerkette" Part 5. (The 90-day probation period of dating)
Happy Thanksgiving!