RELATIONAL FIDELITY - PART 3
Remember, the point is to cover things that prevent you from being victorious or overcoming defeat. If fidelity is a problem for you I have a BOOK, DVD, or CD for you. Click one of the links below to begin having victory over your sexual temptations.
Question: Just because I have a friendship with the opposite sex doesn’t mean it is going to become something sexual does it?
Answer: Of course not! However, it can lead to a sexual relationship and therefore you must set boundaries and be aware when those boundaries are being crossed either by you or your friend. The point is, any improper action outside of your marriage can cause the destruction of your marriage. So, you want to safeguard it as much as possible on your part. Hold it close and dear to you, which is what it should be. Even if intimacy hasn’t occurred, damage can still be done to the trust area of your relationship with your husband or wife. Even though you may not be having an affair, because of the secrecy, they believe you are having one and therefore it will destroy the trust that they have in you so every time when you are late from work, they are wondering… every time the opposite sex calls the home, they are wondering… any time you get in a disagreement and walk out the door, they are wondering. Secrecy can destroy the trust in a marriage and the marriage relationship as well even when nothing has occurred.
Sometimes when we are only friends with someone and we share personal issues of our marriage relationship, they may feel sympathetic towards our experience. We all want someone to be sympathetic to our cause and because this person is showing that, we form a bond or an attachment of some sort that will bring us back to him or her once again. Then, over time you will begin to notice the attractiveness of that person compared to your spouse. You may have formed a dependence bond unwittingly.
Sometimes communicating with a person via phone, e-mail, or chat can become a fidelity issue. Never should confidential talk with your marriage partner make it to the ears of someone else. Also, there are many topics that should never be discussed between friends in dealing with your significant other. Boundaries must to be set and abided by. What happens between you and your love should stay between you and your love.
You may rationalize and say that he or she is only a friend and there is no romantic feeling or attachment. You may be deceiving yourself!
Ask yourself a few questions:
1. Does your marriage partner know of this relationship or do you hide it?
2. If your mate know about it, are you defensive when it is mentioned?
3. Would you hold the same type of conversation with them in front of your significant other that you hold when they are not around?
4. Are you treating your marriage partner the way you want to be treated? In other words, how would you feel about this relationship if it was your marriage partner who had the same exact type of relationship with the opposite sex and treating you the exact same way in dealing with it?
Question: What if I can’t talk to my marriage partner because they are not interested in listening to what I have to say?
Answer: Try and try again. This is your marriage so you want to give your all to make it successful and happy. If communication is an issue, this is the most vulnerable time for you and you especially don’t need to talk to someone else of the opposite sex about your marriage problems. This will definitely cause a rift in your marriage.
Suggestions:
* Both partners can and should take up classes in dealing
with communication… together.
* Put what you learn to practice regularly.
* You may need a professional arbitrator or a marriage
counselor that can facilitate communication between
the two of you and that can teach you how to commun-
icate with your partner and how to listen to what they
are saying even when words aren’t being spoken and
vice versa. There may be underlying issues that the
counselor can assist you with also.
Conclusion: If you have a friend of the opposite sex, set boundaries, keep those boundaries, and require your friend(s) to keep them also. If improper behavior occurs, or you sense a threat to your marriage by being friends with this person, limit the contact and/or sever the relationship for your sake, for the sake of your family, and for the sake of your marriage.
When you are in a marriage relationship, there is a loving, caring, emotional, sexual, unselfish, trusting, respect giving bond that knits you together as one. Utilizing these aforementioned precautions will keep your relationship as it should be… undamaged, intact, and happy.
FOR WOMEN
FOR MEN
If you struggle with sexual issues, including fidelity, consider purchasing one of the BOOKS, DVD, or CD. These discuss the importance of sexual purity and the struggle that each one of us go through.