I read an article from a man whose name I don't remember. However, I want to share it with you because I found it to be so realistic and relevant in dealing with handling fear. His was evidently the fear of speaking up. This man says:
"So I started to really, really listen and observe how people looked so natural. I slowly stepped forward and started talking, I built up my confidence and soon talking became so much more natural. I reflected back and realized the following:
I had put all the fear in to my own head. There were many people who felt the same way. I asked myself these key questions.
* What am I afraid of?
* What's the worst thing that can happen if I speak up?
I thought back to my childhood, what had happened all that time ago that could have affected me for so long. It was quite simple really. As a child I was told "children should be seen and not heard". I was raised in a family where we were not allowed to have an opinion as children and if we said anything, "out of line" we were punished! So I learned to "shut up".
Fast forward to adulthood, in my subconscious I still had the thought that if I said the wrong thing at the wrong time then it would cause conflict. I am still not a confrontational person, I love peace not war. So instead of saying the wrong thing, I said nothing. In a group or big crowd, I would so want to contribute so badly, but my fear kept me paralyzed. Until I asked myself those key questions:
* What am I afraid of ?
* What is the worst thing that can happen?
So I stepped outside of my comfort zone and took the first step. I opened my mouth and talked!! I have never looked back. Now I can speak up in front of people, even in a crowd. Saying that though, I still do not speak up if I feel there will be confrontation. This is something I still need to learn to deal with and feel comfortable with. I have no hesitation now asking a question or becoming involved in any conversation that I feel comfortable in. In fact I am finding it fun and surprising myself by becoming quite the chatterbox!!
So ask yourself "why can't I say what I really want to say"? It is only sounds coming out of your mouth that make words. Are you afraid of the words, or are you afraid of the consequences and what may occur if you say what you really want to?
Ask yourself "what is the worst thing that can happen if I say this?"
Expect the best outcome (9/10 times the worst never ever happens) and Face your fear. Speak up and feel the freedom.
Specific phobias (excessive fear related to exposure to specific objects or situations) can affect up to one-third of the population at some point in their lives. Data released last year from a Stress and Health Study conducted nationally from January 2002 to August 2004 shows that 9.8% of Americans will suffer from agoraphobia (excessive anxiety about being in places or situations that may cause panic attacks) at some time in their lives and 2.8% will suffer from social phobia (the excessive fear of experiencing humiliation or embarrassment in a social context)."
Don't let phobias and fears rule and ruin your life. Ask yourself those questions mentioned and see what the answer is and whether there is truly anything really to be so afraid of.
Join me this week as I share a personal experience that has just happened this past weekend in dealing with fear and anxiety. Until then, remember that you have a strong mind of power and you decide how it will behave.