Showing posts with label Self-Reliance - State Of Mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Reliance - State Of Mind. Show all posts

Self-Reliance - Part 2



We have been discussing the importance of being self-reliant. 

The synonyms for self-reliant are:

1.  Autonomous
2.  On one's own
3.  Self-contained
4.  Self-governing
5.  Self-sufficient
6.  Self-supporting
7.  Self-sustaining

Having these qualities are important in anyone and being self-reliant is good.  However, as you probably also know, satan has a counterfeit for being self-reliant.  It goes to both extremes of either not being reliable at all or being "over" self-reliant.

Question: Is there such a thing as being “Over” Self-Reliant?

Answer: Yes, definitely and it is something that has damaged families, friends, churches, and businesses over the millinnia of time.

Being over self-reliant is NOT good.  It is when we feel as though we cannot rely on others. How will we gain the trust to rely on someone else to accomplish what needs to be done if I feel uncomfortable with anyone else doing the work except me? You have heard of the famous phrase, “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.” Although that makes your self-esteem soar, it means that you are fighting alone. Do you really want to go at it alone, without any support system, without any help, without anyone to have your back, without anyone to talk to about your progress, etc.?  If so, what a lonely world you choose for yourself to be in when it can be so much better than that.

I found a phrase online that I like better. “If you want something done right, and you have to do it yourself, you probably are not a very good communicator.”  However, I like this one the best:  "If you want something done right, you can do it yourself.  But, if you want a lot of things done right, communicate!"

God did not create you as an island unto yourself.  Everything you do in lift affects you and everyone who comes in contact with you.  God created you as a personable being.  If you succeed in this world, you did not do it on your own, someone would have helped you to your success whether you want to admit it or not.  The questions is, why try to do it on your own when you have many people who love you and want to see you succeed and probably are willing to help.

Question:  Is there something wrong with being self-reliant?

Answer:  Of course not! It is very important to be self-reliant, dependable, independent, able to take care of your own business.  However, the problem comes in when you think that YOU are the ONLY reliable one and that no one else is dependable.  It may mean that you have a problem delegating tasks.

Do you have delegation problems?

To delegate takes skill and trust.

What is “delegation”? It is the ability to get things done by effectively assigning task responsibility and authority to others. This is something that is crucial for survival as a manager, supervisor, or anyone who is trying to own their own business or just to get ahead.  Team play must come into effect.

Instead of trying to do it all yourself, learn to ask yourself a question AND ANSWER IT AS HONESTLY AND AS OBJECTIVELY AS POSSIBLE!

Ask: Who is the right person for this task?

Answer: you will find there are specific people who are busy out of necessity.  They must be extraordinarily organized, able to prioritize, and focus on finishing tasks.  So if you want to make sure something gets done, just give it to someone who gets a lot of things done.

Problem: If you always think that you are the only one who can get it done right, you are limiting yourself because you are overloading self and preventing more work from getting done by more people. You set a limit on yourself by this type of thinking because you can only do but so much, therefore, your family, your friends, your job, and your health will suffer because of that selfish type of thinking.

As leaders, the only way to leverage our efforts is to inspire the efforts of those around us.

What is leverage?

“Leverage is the use of a small investment to gain a very high return." If you have to do everything yourself, you get no leverage. However, if you inspire those around you, if you communicate instructions well, and if your colleagues buy into your desired outcome, you will, collectively, achieve results far beyond what one person alone could accomplish.”

             The 10 commandments on How to delegate

                  1. Choose the right person – Can this person do it atleast 80%
                     as well as you can or can you train them to?

                  2. Decide which part of the work they will do.

                  3. Communicate the desired outcome and the steps necessary
                      to reach that goal.

                  4. make sure that you will be able to monitor the progress
                      of task execution and know if the task is actually completed.

                  5. Be supportive so they can accomplish what they set out
                      to do and be willing to answer questions… if asked.

                  6. Don’t be an over-the-shoulder watcher watching their
                      every move; Let them go about the task the best way they
                      see fit and give them a chance to correct their own errors.

                  7. Be patient to see the overall outcome, don’t rush them or
                      it may not be as well done.

                  8. Be respectful even when it isn’t quite how you wanted it.

                  9.  Be positively affirming that they are doing a good job.

                  10.  Realize that it may not be exactly as you would have done
                         it but it is still a great job done and is just as good as your
                        work would have been and the desired outcome has been achieved.


What do you do in turn for those who you have been able to rely on?

Well, an idea would be to help them with something that they are trying to accomplish. It is kind of like a win/win exchange.

Try being self-reliant this week and AVOID being over-reliant.  Let your significant other help you out if they want to.  If you are overburdened, seek help from your loved one(s).  Don't wait for them to ask, you ask for the help needed.  You will be surprised how much they want to help you to succeed.  Including your family and friends in your efforts will keep the bonds of the relationship empowered and strong as you work together to fulfill a common goal.

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Self-Reliance - Part 1



What is Self-Reliance?

Self-Reliance is personal independence, self-sufficiency, and autonomy. The word “rely” is the root word of reliance. It is the capacity to rely on one's own capabilities, and to manage one's own affairs. Can you depend on self to do what is suppose to be done?

Too often we blame others for us not achieving the goals that we have planned. Too often we overlook our part in the failure. Sometimes the blame is on us because we failed to be disciplined enough to manage our own affairs and to do what was needed.

If you cannot rely on self, whom can you rely on and how will others be willing to depend on you? It is important that you are reliable, responsible, and independent. You are adults, you must be, live, and act as adults. You have responsibilities that you must fulfill. There are people depending on you. Yes, you must be self-sufficient.


Question:  Okay, so being self-reliant is good?

Answer:  YES. It is crucial in fulfilling your life's dreams and ambitions.  It is important in relationships also.


Benefits To Being Self-Reliant?

Being self-reliant allows family, friends, employers, etc…

                      *  to know that they can depend on you to get something done.
                      *  to know that you are a trustworthy person
                      *  to know that you won’t fail them.
                      *  it tells your family that they can go to you about anything
                      *  gains you great trust from others
                      *  increases your pride in the work you do
                      *  boosts your self-esteem and causes it to soar
                      *  will get you raises and promotions
                      *  brings joy and pleasure to your family
                      *  something that you can find value in
                      *  seems as if you got it together.

There are so many benefits that it is too numerous to list.

Question:  Does self-reliance depend on your state of mind?

Answer:  Yes, it can.

You ever notice that even though normally you can do something, however, sometimes when you are making mistakes, you try harder and become more anxious about it and make even more mistakes?  It is because of your state of mind.  You... Became... Anxious and when you became anxious you messed up even more.

Questions:  If you make mistakes, does it mean that you are not trustworthy? 

Answer:  Of course not!  We all have our days.  We are NOT superman or superwoman no matter what we may think.  We do not always have it together.

As I work, I find that my work identifies me. If I usually do a good job, it is because what I do represents me and I find value in myself. Therefore, I want to instill value in all that I do or associate myself with.  Sometimes, I may even become a perfectionist about some things because I am identified with it.

However, at times what I do may identify how I feel. If I do a shotty work today, it is more than likely because that is how I was feeling today.  I just wasn't feeling like my own usual dependable self.

This is just to say that, although being self-reliant is important, we won’t always get it right and we are not perfect. Therefore, don't expect yourself always to be perfect and don't expect others to be that way either.  If you are not perfect everyday all day long, then guess what, neither is anyone else.

Question: Is there such a thing as being “Over” Self-Reliant?

Join me next week as we discuss the issues with being "Over" Self-Reliant".