Relational Fidelity - Part 2

RELATIONAL FIDELITY - PART 2

Remember, the point is to cover things that prevent you from being victorious or overcoming defeat. If fidelity is a problem for you I have a BOOK, DVD, or CD for you. Click one of the links below to begin having victory over your sexual temptations.

Question: Does that mean that I cannot have friends of the opposite sex or talk about things with them that is important to me?

Answer: It is natural to have friends of both genders outside of marriage. However, you made a contractual commitment to only one person. You made a vow before God to that person. Therefore, your husband or wife gets first claim on your time, attention, and emotional energy.

Do you spend your time with someone else of the opposite sex pouring your heart out and your emotional needs out to them? You wife or husband is who should be getting that heart pouring and that conversation. They should be the ones who are receiving the information on how you feel about your relationship with them or what is going on in your life. Information in dealing with your relationship should NOT go outside of the relationship unless it is for advice or counselling… that includes chatting with your girlfriends about intimate things and problems in your relationships. Yes, we all need friends but your best friend should be the one that you are married to. He or she is the one that you should be going to first. I understand that sometimes we need someone else to talk to. That will happen but your first and foremost conversation should come to your significant other. Perhaps if the communication was happening there, the problem would be taken care of and you wouldn’t feel necessary to share it elsewhere.

Where the mind/heart goes, the body follows. If you are pouring out your heart someone other than your significant other, you may be forming an attachment with them and vice versa unwittingly. There have been many of times when a relationship has gone sour just because someone had a friend and used them in this way and an attachment was formed. So, when a disagreement came, the husband or wife would let come out of their mouths this saying… “Well, atleast ______ understands me!” It is something that causes you to feel as though you have a right to be with someone else and causes you to match your significant other with this person whom you have been confiding in.

Also, when we talk about our mate to our friends, they form a conclusion on what they think about our mate according to what we share with them and how you feel about them. So, it will also cause a strain in your relationship because your friends may treat him/her disagreeably because of how they feel about you. Do you really want a problem with your friends and your husband or wife not getting along? You will be in the middle and eventually, it will cause you to have to make a choice that you will not want to make.  (As mentioned earlier, if it is dealing with abuse… of course you want to tell somebody.) If it doesn’t deal with abuse, then don’t be so quick to share with your friends every disagreement, argument, and sexual encounter that you had with your spouse.

Any time that you are giving your time, attention and emotional energy to someone else and your marriage partner isn’t receiving it, you are wrongfully taking what rightly belongs to your husband or wife and giving it to someone else. That is a form of infidelity.

If you struggle with sexual issues, including fidelity, consider purchasing one of the BOOKS, DVD, or CD below.  These discuss the importance of sexual purity and the struggle that each one of us go through.

                                                         FOR WOMEN

                                   

   Click Here >>>>>     BOOK                                    CD

                                                            FOR MEN

                                          

    Click Here >>>>>           BOOK                                   DVD

      
 

Question:  Just because I have a friendship with the opposite sex doesn’t mean it is going to become something sexual does it?

Join me on Friday as we answer

this question in dealing with "Fidelity".

Relational Fidelity - Part 1

RELATIONAL FIDELITY

NOTE: (Please understand that we are not talking about any type of abusive relationships here. If you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship you should seek help to get out of it.)

Take a look at the nouns in dealing with fidelity. It is such a wealth of words that give a better understanding that it isn’t just in dealing with sex.

FIDELITY (nouns): allegiance, conscientiousness, constantia, devotedness, devotion, dutiful adherence, dutifulness, faith, faithfulness, fealty, fides, good faith, homage, loyalty, stanchness, steadfastness, trueness, trustiness, trustworthiness.

What does “fidelity” mean and is it still relevant in our society today? Fidelity means the quality of being faithful; strict observance of promises, duties, etc.; adherence to a person or party to which one is bound; loyalty; adherence to the marriage contract; adherence to truth; veracity; honesty; faithfulness; adherence to right; careful and exact observance of duty, or discharge of obligations.

Fidelity entails physical, emotional, and mental faithfulness.  It is remaining faithful to your partner. 

It may be important for you, as partners, to sit down and talk about what fidelity means to you? Their idea of fidelity may be something totally different than your idea. It is good to know where you both stand in that area so as to avoid any conflicts there.

SEXUAL FANTASIES

It may come a time when you dream of someone else in a sexual manner. Unfortunately, we cannot always control our dreams. However, do you give that dream conscious thought when you are awake and entertain the idea?  Then you are still not being faithful to your partner because you are allowing a lust to build up within you that you’re entertaining instead of crushing.

Sexual fantasies outside of marriage deal with mentally rehearsing the actions. If you actually performed these fantasies, it would bring about immense emotional pain to husband or wife.  It's a self-centered behavior that focuses on personal gratification.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:

What are you putting in front of your eyes?  What are you watching on your tv, computer, or phone?  What types of magazines, books, and posters are you allowing yourself to peek at in the stores or even purchase in dealing with sexually oriented and pornographic items?  These are other ways that we entertain infidelity.

Remember, actions are formed in the thoughts first.  What you put in your mind stays in your mind.  We, especially men, are visually stimulated.  To see these types of sexual materials or purposely cause yourself to remember sexual dreams in dealing with someone other than your partner is a stumbling block to your relationship.  Remember, the point is to cover things that prevent you from being victorious or overcoming defeat.  If fidelity is a problem for you I have a BOOK, DVD, or CD for you.  Click one of the links below to begin having victory over your sexual temptations.


                         FOR MEN                                                    FOR WOMEN

          BOOK                       DVD                               BOOK                        CD
                 
        
Your state of mind decides your behavior.  If your mind is on a specific sexual act and you do not correct it, it will continue to plague you until you perform it.  Some of the things that you're thinking about sexually may be shared with your partner .  It may be that you can work together to rid some of the frustrations in dealing with those thoughts.

Question (Ask yourself this question):  If you engage in sexual fantasies without your partner, will it increase the likelihood of committing adultery?

Honest Answer:  YES!

By participating in sexual fantasies without your partner, you are encouraging the fantasy-fueled acts of lust and selfishness which can result in adultery.  If you refocus your mind on your partner, then when an intimate opportunity arises, you both can be more sexually fulfilled and enjoy greater happiness sexually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and relationally.

Question:  Does fidelity include the emotions?

Answer:  Yes!

Question:  Why?

Answer:  Because a successful marriage or relationship requires giving sole and complete commitment to your mate, including your emotions.

Question:  Does this mean that I cannot have friends of the opposite sex or talk about things with them that are important to me?

Join me again on Wednesday as we

delve into answering that question.