Relational Fidelity - Part 1

RELATIONAL FIDELITY

NOTE: (Please understand that we are not talking about any type of abusive relationships here. If you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship you should seek help to get out of it.)

Take a look at the nouns in dealing with fidelity. It is such a wealth of words that give a better understanding that it isn’t just in dealing with sex.

FIDELITY (nouns): allegiance, conscientiousness, constantia, devotedness, devotion, dutiful adherence, dutifulness, faith, faithfulness, fealty, fides, good faith, homage, loyalty, stanchness, steadfastness, trueness, trustiness, trustworthiness.

What does “fidelity” mean and is it still relevant in our society today? Fidelity means the quality of being faithful; strict observance of promises, duties, etc.; adherence to a person or party to which one is bound; loyalty; adherence to the marriage contract; adherence to truth; veracity; honesty; faithfulness; adherence to right; careful and exact observance of duty, or discharge of obligations.

Fidelity entails physical, emotional, and mental faithfulness.  It is remaining faithful to your partner. 

It may be important for you, as partners, to sit down and talk about what fidelity means to you? Their idea of fidelity may be something totally different than your idea. It is good to know where you both stand in that area so as to avoid any conflicts there.

SEXUAL FANTASIES

It may come a time when you dream of someone else in a sexual manner. Unfortunately, we cannot always control our dreams. However, do you give that dream conscious thought when you are awake and entertain the idea?  Then you are still not being faithful to your partner because you are allowing a lust to build up within you that you’re entertaining instead of crushing.

Sexual fantasies outside of marriage deal with mentally rehearsing the actions. If you actually performed these fantasies, it would bring about immense emotional pain to husband or wife.  It's a self-centered behavior that focuses on personal gratification.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:

What are you putting in front of your eyes?  What are you watching on your tv, computer, or phone?  What types of magazines, books, and posters are you allowing yourself to peek at in the stores or even purchase in dealing with sexually oriented and pornographic items?  These are other ways that we entertain infidelity.

Remember, actions are formed in the thoughts first.  What you put in your mind stays in your mind.  We, especially men, are visually stimulated.  To see these types of sexual materials or purposely cause yourself to remember sexual dreams in dealing with someone other than your partner is a stumbling block to your relationship.  Remember, the point is to cover things that prevent you from being victorious or overcoming defeat.  If fidelity is a problem for you I have a BOOK, DVD, or CD for you.  Click one of the links below to begin having victory over your sexual temptations.


                         FOR MEN                                                    FOR WOMEN

          BOOK                       DVD                               BOOK                        CD
                 
        
Your state of mind decides your behavior.  If your mind is on a specific sexual act and you do not correct it, it will continue to plague you until you perform it.  Some of the things that you're thinking about sexually may be shared with your partner .  It may be that you can work together to rid some of the frustrations in dealing with those thoughts.

Question (Ask yourself this question):  If you engage in sexual fantasies without your partner, will it increase the likelihood of committing adultery?

Honest Answer:  YES!

By participating in sexual fantasies without your partner, you are encouraging the fantasy-fueled acts of lust and selfishness which can result in adultery.  If you refocus your mind on your partner, then when an intimate opportunity arises, you both can be more sexually fulfilled and enjoy greater happiness sexually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and relationally.

Question:  Does fidelity include the emotions?

Answer:  Yes!

Question:  Why?

Answer:  Because a successful marriage or relationship requires giving sole and complete commitment to your mate, including your emotions.

Question:  Does this mean that I cannot have friends of the opposite sex or talk about things with them that are important to me?

Join me again on Wednesday as we

delve into answering that question.

The Importance of Standards

The Importance of Standards

I got this story from one of my study booklets. I found it interesting and wanted to share it with you.

There was a farmer’s son in Ethiopia. He was very bright, but his parents saw no need to send him to high school. After all, why would a farmer need so much education? But the son had a burning desire to study, and because his parents recognized his special gifts, they allowed him to enter secondary school. He was older than most students in high school, but he was determined to do well.

The secondary school was some distance from home, so he rented a small house in which to live. Every weekend he returned home to see his parents and to help on the farm. When he returned to school, his mother made sure that he had enough food to last a week.

He noticed that many students at the secondary school were Christian. He had seen their churches in the neighborhood and wondered what they believed. He listened as students shared their beliefs with him. He was curious about some of their beliefs. His Christian friends invited him to visit the church in town, and he accepted the invitation. Soon he was attending regularly. His friends taught him about the beliefs that he was curious of and in time he joined the baptismal class.

He began telling his family and non-Christian friends what he had discovered. Some, including his father, thought he was crazy; but others listened to what he said and how he had changed in dealing with his behavior. However, when he was baptized, his parents sent him away from his home. His friends saw how he was treated and noticed that he did not retaliate when treated badly. One by one those with whom he had shared his faith followed him to the church.

STANDARDS

What is your state of mind?

Where do you stand?

When you are on the pathway to where you are headed in completing the goals you have set up for yourself, have you considered the standards that you will go by? Have you considered how far you will go and what lines not to cross?

The young boy in the aforementioned story set some Christian standards that he would go by. He would still act in love to those who even treated him badly. What are your standards in your search for work, wealth, acknowledgement, etc?

If you have a career goal set for yourself, I hope you also have a standard by which you measure yourself. You see, some people will decide that they will make it to the top no matter whom they step upon. Some people decide that it is ok to “fudge” a little on their taxes or tell a “little white lie” here and there to get what they think is ahead of the game. Some people think that if they don’t get it now at all cost, then it never will happen. What are the things, no matter how small, that you do to get by that may be questionable in dealing with your standards and the type of person that you choose to be?

When building a career or business, it is extremely important to be honest in your dealings with others. You will gain their trust and their business in return. If you are “fudging” here and there a little along the way, eventually you will be found out and will lose their trust and their business. In dealing with families, your word is your bond. It must be trustworthy and followed through. If you speak and give your word and don’t keep it, your family, especially the children, will not respect you and will remember it and bring it back up to you one day.

When setting up goals for a business, set up the standards that you, and all you employ, will go by. Stick to that so that all will see that you are an upright person. Your standards identify your character… the type of person you are. Everyone will see that by your words and actions. High Standards is something that is missing in the business world today. Be strong in your decision to be fair and to do what is moral. Step out of the mold of this dog-eat-dog society and have a state of mind that says I will go this far and I will go no further.

The decision to have integrity and high standards will bring joy to your family and friends, customers to your business, put money in your pockets, and give you a feeling deep down of satisfaction, knowing that you made it and you did it the right way.