DEALING WITH ANGER, BITTERNESS, & RESENTMENT
The only way we can live life undefeated is first by believing in the someone who already has given us the victory over all things… That someone is Jesus Christ our Lord and our Saviour. Lord, because He is the Someone that we choose to follow and obey… Saviour, because He died in my place, in your place… where we are guilty of eternal death, he died that death for us so that we can live. As I write these daily posts, they will almost always relate to a relationship with God and His Word, the Bible, and where it doesn’t, please acknowledge what was mentioned at first that it is only by that relationship that we can overcome all things.
When I say living life defeated, I mean allowing the cares of this world to decide what kind of person you will be and what your actions will entail, what you think, and what you desire. Allowing the bad and ugly in this life to beat you down to where you stay down and choose not to get up again. That is living a defeated life, giving up, and surrendering.
Now, there are many things that can cause us to live a defeated life: anger, bitterness, and resentment, unconquered temptations, low self esteem, fear, loneliness, depression, childhood hurts, addictions, and many more. Today, are going to cover "Anger, Bitterness, and Resentment". As we learn to conquer our anger, bitterness, and resentment, we build a new state of mind for ourselves.
Let's define what these things are first so that we're on the same page.
Anger – The basic emotion of extreme displeasure or exasperation in reaction to a person, a situation, or an object. The synonyms to anger are annoyance, irritation, fury, rage, antagonism, resentment, incense, inflame, madden, ire, outrage, steam up, tick off… there are so many definitions for it. I wanted to list a good amount so that you understand that “Anger” comes under many names.
Bitterness – marked by intensity or severity; accompanied by severe pain or suffering; exhibiting intense animosity; harshly reproachful; marked by cynicism and rancor; expressive of severe pain, grief, or regret. Synonyms of bitterness are: acrid, acrimonious, embittered, hard, rancorous, resentful, and sore.
Resentment – a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury. Synonyms of resentment are: grievance, grudge, or keeping score.
When we are angry, be it for a good reason or not, for a long or short period of time, it effects us, mentally, physically, spiritually, and of course, emotionally. Anger can cause negative reactions and situations in a relationship when expressed unconstructively. So, we want to learn how to get rid of our anger, whether it has plagued us for all of our lives or is a sudden issue. As we learn these techniques, our state of mind will also change thus allowing us to overcome even more.
7 steps that should be taken to deliver us from anger, resentment, and bitterness.
1. Admit that you are angry. Be honest to yourself and with God. Don’t try to hide your genuine feelings. Heb. 4:13; Eph. 4:26
2. Discover why you are angry. (This may require you to look into your past or speak with a counselor.) Gen. 4:6
3. Although it is ok to be angry for a good reason, don’t let your emotions control you. (Prov. 16:32; Eccl. 7:9; Prov. 14:29)
4. Give your anger to God. Remember angry words stir up anger in others. (Prov. 15:1; Ps. 37:7, 8).
5. Forgive others who have wronged you, even if they haven’t asked for forgiveness, nor apologized. Because the purpose of the forgiveness is for your sake not theirs necessarily. Since God has forgiven you for what you have done to Him, ask Him to give you forgiveness for what others have done to you. (Eph. 4:32; Lk. 11:4; Col. 3:13)
6. Forgive yourself for things you have done and for being angry. (1 Jn. 1:9)
7. Deal with anger quickly. Don’t let it accumulate. AND If you need to ask someone’s forgiveness, do it. (Eph. 4:26)
Now, while we know that there is nothing wrong with being angry for a good reason, it is the holding on to anger that gives us the trouble and isn’t good according to Eph 4:29-32. You see, anger progresses into resentment and resentment progresses into bitterness. So, if we avoid holding onto the anger, the other 2 will take care of themselves. These things cause us not to be able to move on in our lives. It holds us back from accomplishing our plans and goals and destroys relationships that we might have had, and even more so is a stumbling block from fulfilling what God has planned for us. Let's have a new state of mind, one that is free from such vices.
Let’s stop the devil in his tracks today by letting go of any anger, resentment, and bitterness thus allowing ourselves to live life VICTORIOUSLY!
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