A New Way Of Speaking - Part 1

It is no wonder that we have one mouth and 2 ears. We should listen twice as much as we speak. But, when we speak, we should know how to speak so that those who hear, including ourselves, may be uplifted and encouraged instead of insulted broken down and crushed.

Which would you prefer?  You choose.

Example 1:

A man comes home after a hard days work and as he enters the door, his wife lights into him. Why are you 15 minutes late coming home! You work too hard and never want to spend time with me! My clothes are old, I need new clothes, can’t you earn more money so I can get them! Look at this house we live in, it is too small, it isn’t what the Joneses live in! Why can’t we have a car like theirs!

Example 2:

A man comes home after a hard days work and as he enters the door, his wife lights him up with a smile. How was your day honey? You must have worked long and hard. I missed you. I dressed up just for you. I thank God for our home and car because I know that many people don’t have that blessing.  Thank you for working so hard.


When a man OR woman comes home from work, they are usually tired and the last thing they want is to be complained to. They know their financial status and that there isn’t enough money to buy nice things and the old things are getting older and tattered. They don’t need to be reminded.  That is why they are working so hard. 

They want peace and quite for a while to be able to wind down.  If you approach them with an attitude and a problem, they are not going to be as open to talk about it as soon as they walk through the door and especially not when it deals with arguing as the way of speaking.

Give them their wind down time and pick another time to talk about the problems.  Speak peacefully and positive to them, speaking words of thankfulness and appreciation and love.

As you do this, you will change your relationship for the better and have a more positive state of mind.

Join me again this week as we go over "How To Speak".

Crucibles - Part 2

Going Through A Crucible?

     In your crucible, you will have surprises, sometimes painful ones. They could be accident related, health related, spiritual related, etc… We all will experience different types of surprises. Often we think of surprise as a pleasant thing but it isn’t always. We often put everything that feels good in the box that is good for us and everything that feels bad in a box that is bad for us. Life is not that simple. Sometimes, the things that feel bad is actually good for us and the things that feel good is actually bad for us.

     When we experience these surprises, we must be aware of the reality and the power of our enemy, don’t ever get discouraged. Do not re-act to a situation but, instead, act accordingly. Why? Because everything that we do has consequences. If you put ice out in the sun it will melt. If you put your hand in a fire, you will get burned. There is always cause and effect throughout our lives… they work together. We reap what we sow. There are results for our behavior.

     We seem to think that Someone will always intervene immediately to remove the pain that results from our own actions. Many times, we experience the consequences of our own actions in order that we may understand how deeply damaging and offensive our behavior is.

     Let’s take the laws about our health for example. If we abuse our bodies by failing to eat healthfully or exercise, or if we regularly overwork, this will damage and break down our bodies as a result.

Crucible of Purification:

There are 3 reasons why refining and testing may feel like a crucible.

1. We experience pain as circumstances bring wrong doing to our attention.

2. We experience anguish as we feel sorry for the wrong doing we now have done.

3. We experience frustration as we try to right the wrong we have done and to live differently.

Crucible of Maturity:

It can be quite uncomfortable and difficult to keep choosing to give up the things that have been so much a part of us. But this pruning process must happen.

When pruning plants, we only cut off branches here and there so that they can develop into greater fruitfulness. To prune, you need a sharp object that will sever. In the same way, in a crucible, we are being trimmed here and trimmed there with a sharp instrument that is cutting away things that will keep us back from growing into the person we are to be and so that we are progressive and successful in our ways and blossom into someone better than we were before. Sure, it hurts. Yes, it is uncomfortable. And YES, it is necessary.

So, if you are going through a crucible journey, know that it isn’t for nothing and that it will come to an end depending on how much has to be cut away. Be patient, be strong, be diligent, be encouraged that you are becoming a better person with a better state of mind and you are closer to fulfilling your goals and preparing yourself to accomplish them.

Join me next week as we continue to cover things that change your state of mind for the best.

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