Dealing with Anger, Bitterness, and Resentment

ANGER, BITTERNESS, & RESENTMENT

Well, since my blog is dealing with assisting individuals how to live life undefeated, I think that it is best to realize that the only way we can live life undefeated is first by believing in the someone who already has given us the victory over all things… That someone is Jesus Christ our Lord and our Saviour. Lord, because He is the Someone that we choose to follow and obey… Saviour, because He died in my place, in your place… where we are guilty of death, he died that death for us so that we can live. As I write these posts, they will almost always relate to a relationship with God and His Word, the Bible and where it doesn’t, please acknowledge what was mentioned at first that it is only by that relationship that we can overcome all things.

When I say living life defeated, I mean allowing the cares of this world to decide what kind of person you will be and what your actions will entail, what you think, and what you desire. Allowing the bad and ugly in this life to beat you down to where you stay down and choose not to get up again. That is living a defeated life, giving up, and surrendering.

Now, there are many things that can cause us to live a defeated life: anger, bitterness, and resentment, unconquered temptations, low self esteem, fear, loneliness, depression, childhood hurts, addictions, and many more. We are going to cover many of these items in the following posts. Our first set will be Anger, Bitterness, and Resentment. As we learn to conquer our anger, bitterness, and resentment, we build a new state of mind for ourselves.

Anger – The basic emotion of extreme displeasure or exasperation in reaction to a person, a situation, or an object. The synonyms to anger are annoyance, irritation, fury, rage, antagonism, resentment, incense, inflame, madden, ire, outrage, steam up, tick off… there are so many definitions for it. I wanted to list a good amount so that you understand that “Anger” comes under many names.

Bitterness – marked by intensity or severity; accompanied by severe pain or suffering; exhibiting intense animosity; harshly reproachful; marked by cynicism and rancor; expressive of severe pain, grief, or regret. Synonyms of bitterness are: acrid, acrimonious, embittered, hard, rancorous, resentful, and sore.

Resentment – a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury. Synonyms of resentment are: grievance, grudge, or keeping score.

When we are angry, be it for a good reason or not, for a long or short period of time, it effects us, mentally, physically, spiritually, and of course, emotionally. Anger can cause negative reactions and situations in a relationship when expressed unconstructively. So, we want to learn how to get rid of our anger, whether it has plagued us for all of our lives or is a sudden issue. As we learn these techniques, our state of mind will also change thus allowing us to overcome even more.  Next, we will cover the 7 steps that should be taken to deliver us from anger, resentment, and bitterness.

1. Admit that you are angry. Be honest to yourself and with God. Don’t try to hide your genuine feelings. Heb. 4:13; Eph. 4:26

2. Discover why you are angry. (This may require you to look into your past or speak with a counselor.) Gen. 4:6

3. Although it is ok to be angry for a good reason, don’t let your emotions control you. (Prov. 16:32; Eccl. 7:9; Prov. 14:29)

4. Give your anger to God. Remember angry words stir up anger in others. (Prov. 15:1; Ps. 37:7, 8).

5. Forgive others who have wronged you, even if they haven’t asked for forgiveness, nor apologized. Because the purpose of the forgiveness is for your sake not theirs. Since God has forgiven you for what you have done to Him, ask Him to give you forgiveness for what others have done to you. (Eph. 4:32; Lk. 11:4; Col. 3:13)

6. Forgive yourself for things you have done and for being angry. (1 Jn. 1:9)

7. Deal with anger quickly. Don’t let it accumulate. If you need to ask someone’s forgiveness, do it. (Eph. 4:26)

Now, while we know that there is nothing wrong with being angry for a good reason, it is the holding on to anger that gives us the trouble and isn’t good according to Eph 4:29-32. You see, anger progresses into resentment and resentment progresses into bitterness. So, if we avoid holding onto the anger, the other 2 will take care of themselves. These things cause us not to be able to move on in our lives. It holds us back from accomplishing our plans and goals and even more so is a stumbling block from fulfilling what God has planned for us. Let's have a new state of mind, one that is free from such vices.

Let’s stop the devil in his tracks today by letting go of any anger, resentment, and bitterness thus allowing ourselves to live life victoriously!

Why Do We Celebrate Labor Day?

You know... I always wondered where labor day came from and my parents and family really couldn't give much information on it.  So, I began to look around and found this excellent article that I wanted to share with you.

Labor Day means many things to us. For most, it means a day off from work. For many, it means the unofficial end of summer and the beginning of fall. For some, it means a chance to get away for a long weekend.

However, Labor Day is one of those holidays that you reap the benefits from but that many people don't actually know the true significance of. The commercialization of many holidays, including Labor Day, also hasn't helped with that.

So in case you're wondering, Labor Day actually has a long historical tradition about the workers that built this nation. Read on to find out what this holiday is all about so that when you're sipping Mai Tais on the beach, you know why you're able to do so.

What is Labor Day?

Labor Day is a United States federal holiday that takes place on the first Monday in September every year. In 2014, the holiday falls on Sept. 1. It's a day dedicated to celebrating the efforts of workers, past and present, that have helped provide the social, political and economic backbone of this country.

How did it start?

Labor Day was borne out of the U.S. labor movement toward the end of the 19th century when workers sought better working conditions, fairer wages and union representation. There is some debate over who is the true founder of the holiday. For much of history, Peter McGuire, the founder of the United Brotherhood of Carpenters, was credited as the founder of Labor Day. Sources say that McGuire stood in front of the New York Central Labor Union on May 12, 1882 to declare that a day be set aside to celebrate the nation's workforce.

However, recent research from the New Jersey Historical Society questions McGuire's role in the holiday's creation. The organization found a column in the New Jersey-based newspaper the Morning Call that referred to Matthew Maguire, a Central Labor Union of New York leader, as the "Father of the Labor Day holiday." Some believe that McGuire received credit for the founding of Labor Day because Maguire's views were too radical.

At any rate, the first Labor Day holiday was signed into law in Colorado, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York and Oregon in 1887. The ordinance passed in many of the other states through the years, and on June 28, 1894, Congress declared the first Monday in September as Labor Day.

Why is Labor Day in September?

Although you probably think Labor Day is in September to liven up a not-so-festive time of the year, the month was actually chosen because a Knights of Labor conference was being held in New York on Sept. 5, 1882, the date of the first Labor Day celebration. Though the Central Labor Union held the event on that date the next year, by 1884, the group decided to celebrate the holiday on the first Monday in September.

Although you probably think Labor Day is in September to liven up a not-so-festive time of the year, the month was actually chosen because a Knights of Labor conference was being held in New York on Sept. 5, 1882, the date of the first Labor Day celebration. Though the Central Labor Union held the event on that date the next year, by 1884, the group decided to celebrate the holiday on the first Monday in September.

Everyone knows that one of the rules of fashion is that once Labor Day comes and goes, it's time to pack away those white jeans until summer comes again. Where did this seemingly arbitrary rule come from?

White clothing has long been seen as a way to stay cool in the summer months. Some say it was the uniform of escaped urbanites during the warmer months, so when you returned to the city upon summer's end, you would get back to your regular routine of wearing darker clothing. As the middle class expanded in the 1950s, the "no white after Labor Day" rule became a way those of old money and some smart social climbers could distinguish who really belonged in the upper eschelons of society.

These days, the rule doesn't carry as much clout as it once did, but even if you choose to wear a white dress in the middle of February, you still know you're not supposed to be doing it.

Do other countries celebrate Labor Day?

The U.S. isn't the only country to set aside a day to celebrate workers. Labour Day is also celebrated on the first Monday in September in Canada. Australians celebrate Labour Day in March or October, depending on what territory they live in. Labor Day is celebrated on the first Friday of June in the Bahamas. Most countries around the world celebrate International Workers' Day, or May Day, on May 1.

What does Labor Day mean to us today?

No, Labor Day isn't just a poorly reviewed movie starring Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin these days. There's still plenty of labor issues at play. In addition to concerns over unemployment rates, the gender wage gap and a livable minimum wage have been hot topics in recent years. But observing Labor Day every year hasn't really seemed to affect very much.

What can you do this Labor Day?

So, if you know someone who has a job, or works hard even if they don't get paid for it (house wife/husband and mother/father), choose to do a good deed to them for labor day to just show your appreciation for what they do.  Who knows, someone may do the same for you... and you know what... you deserve it.

Brought To You by:  http://www.techtimes.com/articles/14409/20140829/why-do-we-celebrate-labor-day.htm  with last paragraph alteration by PJ.

Surrendered Yet?

You know, it is amazing when we think that we know how to surrender and try to do it the same way as previously when we surrendered to God's will before.  For the past 3 weeks, I've been in alot of heart pain and a mode of surrendering... or so I thought.  Yet, although I was saying the words, "Thy will be done", and praying that He change "my will to His will", and although I surrendered everything that made me who I am... my plans, my dreams, my desires, my goals, my possessions, my wants and wishes, my work, my heart, my spirit, my mind, my love.  For 3 weeks, I continually surrendered these things everyday... sometimes it took every hour because sometimes I would try to take back control because of the heart pain that was there and realizing that I needed to trust that God knows what He is doing and will work things out.  There is a good and very relevant scripture in Romans 8:28 that says:  "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose."

I love God, therefore, I needed to re-learn how to give up control of my life to Him and surrender completely all of me and allow His purpose to occur.  It was a heart-breaking, mind-altering, spirit-surrendering, relationship-connecting experience with God... and it's not over yet.  He is just beginning!

You see, I thought I knew how to surrender... and I did because I've done it many time before in different ways and for different reasons or purposes.  But, I found out that there are different ways and different depths of surrendering.

Different Levels Of Surrender

Superficial:  You can surrender at the superficial level where it is just surrendering something that will make barely a little change and requires a minor sacrifice, but nothing painstaking.  This surrender is more for show of what others will see than for a change in the actual person.

Subcutaneous:  You can surrender at the subcutaneous level where it is something that is hitting closer to home and closer to your private life, but not every aspect of your life.  It will make a bit of a change and requires a sacrifice... and yes, it hurts a bit.  However, it still isn't a deep enough cut into who you are as a person to change you systemically.

Heart, Mind, & Spirit Level:  The best type of surrender is the Heart, Mind, & Spirit level where you are surrendering everything that makes you who you are and willing for God to tear you apart, break you up and melt you down.  This level is a complete surrender and therefore complete sacrifice is required and can be extremely painful.  Anything and everything that is dear to you, you are surrendering to God.  Did you get offered the job that you've been trying to get for several years and they are finally taking notice of you?  A Heart, Mind, & Spirit level of surrender tells you that you are surrendering your heart & mind to God to make your spirit one with Him and are willing to even walk away from the job if He says to do so.  Are you in love and want to be with someone who loves you and you know is a perfect match for you.  A Heart, Mind & Spirit level of surrender will give this love and this person up to God and allow Him to choose for you and even pace out the relationship at the speed that He decides.  You are giving God permission to either do away with it or keep it and utilize it for His will and glory according to as His providence shall indicate.  This Heart, Mind, & Spirit level of surrender hurts because it is reaching way down into the depths of your very being and allowing God to rebuild you from scratch... if necessary.  It is usually a very painful ordeal, especially if you are trying to surrender but still holding on to some control, because this type of surrender is dealing with absolutely everything in your life.  This is where you have completely opened up yourself, your life, and your hands and have lifted them to God and have given all to Him to do with as He wills.

By having this type of surrender, once you are rebuilt and molded into what God wants you to be, it will open your eyes to see things that you couldn't see before because you were blind.  It will enlighten your mind to discern things that you weren't able to before, because of the clutter of life.  It will form a stronger connection to God, thus enhancing your relationship with Him because you finally stopped fighting against Him.

So, the question is... Are YOU fully, completely, and utterly, surrendered yet?  If not, I invite you to surrender now.  Don't wait!  Give it all up and be still, and know that He is God!

Prayer... The Answer To Every Problem

I was blessed to come across a beautiful passage of reading as I've been in the middle of a prayer and fasting time.  We often are fervent in the "fasting" part but our "prayer" part is still left deficient because it means that time has to be taken and thought given in order to do it.  I am speaking from personal experience.

Tragedy & Prayer

Why is it that it takes a tragedy to bring us to our knees to God.  Have you noticed that even the infidel and atheist that says they don't believe in God, is the first to say God's name when their lives are about to quickly depart.  For example:  A airplane pilot has lost all function of a plan and crash is inevitable.  Even at that point, an atheist or infidel will say, "Oh, God".  I think part of it is because they, at that moment, realize that there is nothing for them after this life and this life is about to end and they are wanting to reach out for the possibilities of another life at that point.  They have been brought to a tragedy or crossroad in their lives and have to make a decision of whether to go to a meaningless, hopeless grave, or to go to a grave that will have a resurrection into a new life when Jesus comes and calls them home.

You see all of us are looking for the "something" that is greater than ourselves.  But nothing on this earth will be able to handle EVERY problem in this life... nothing but PRAYER.  You see prayer is an avenue that leads us to the most powerful being in existence... God.  It opens up everything at our mouth-tips.  All we have to do is speak and believe.  You see... it is a state of mind and heart, both must be involved.

The passage I was referring to is below:

"Prayer is the answer to every problem in life.  It puts us in tune with divine wisdom, which knows how to adjust everything perfectly.  So often we do not pray in certain situations because from our standpoint, the outlook is hopeless.  But nothing is impossible with God.  Nothing is so tangled that it cannot be remedied.  No human relationship is so strained for God to bring about reconciliation and understanding. No habit is so deep-rooted that it cannot be overcome.  No one is so ill he cannot be healed.  No mind is so dull that it cannot be made brilliant.  Whatever we need, if we trust in God, He will supply it.  If anything is causing worry and anxiety, let us stop rehearsing the difficulty and trust God for healing, love, and power."

R&H, October 7, 1865

What Are Your Plans For 2014!

Live On Purpose!

Wow, we have just crossed over the threshold to a new year.  2014!  I can't believe it, it went soooo fast.  We are starting a new year of blessing, trials, victories, mistakes, dreams, etc.  What are your plans for this year.  Have you mapped out your goal of what you want to accomplish this year, so that you are not just letting life happen?

What are your desires, your short term and long term plans?  If you don't know, then you are just letting life happen instead of living on purpose.  We all should have a plan for our lives to a certain extent.  Some plan short term.  Some plan long term.  Some plan for both.  If you are not a planner, but want to work on dreams that you have, it is time to become a planner now.  It doesn't have to be big and bad.  Just start with a short term goal of what you want to accomplish in 1 month, or 3 months, or 6 months.  Then when you reach the end of that goal, plan for the next phase of life you are entering.  All you need is a dream, want, desire, or belief in something and then run with that in how you want it to work out in your life.

Many people make New Year's Resolutions.  There is nothing wrong with that.  The problem is that they they didn't set a goal or a plan.  "They didn't plan to fail... they failed to plan."  Let's look at the word resolution.  Resolution means a firm decision to do or not do something.  It also means the action of solving a problem.  I believe that it takes both these definitions to be victorious in fulfilling our resolution.  

You see, we can make the firm decision to do something but if we don't place it with an action of solving the problem of why we weren't doing it in the first place then we will still be back where we started within a few short weeks.  If we make a firm decision to NOT do something but we fail to place it with an action of solving the problem of why we ARE doing it in the first place and then replace that action with a positive one to fill it's place, then we are still going to fail.  "Resolution", I believe, is very similar to "Faith".  It is an action word.  We must plan to "do and not do" something.  Do the necessary research to lose that weight, to eat right, to get the job, to get into a specific school, to move to another country, to learn to walk again.  Then have the faith and the courage to just do it and let nothing stop you or stand in your way.

So, as the Lord has blessed you with a new year of life, don't live by accident and just let anything and everything hit you.  Know the Lord's leading in your life.  Know your plans for your life.  Know your desires and dreams for your life this new year.  Then, set out to accomplish that which you are meant to accomplish.

God has given you power and status to be kings and queens of this earth.  Why live as less?  A king or a queen never just let things happen, they decided what would happen.  Now, they didn't know everything.  However, they worked in and used what they knew and believed.  Be a king or a queen the way God desires you to be. Why is your state of mind as someone who is in defeat?! Know that you a conqueror over anything and everything that would threaten to beset you.  Do it with by the will of the Lord and the strength of His might.  While we are fulfilling our dreams however, we will not just walk over others to get there because then our dreams will be a guaranteed failure.  We must do it with a good character and dignity and compassion and justice and mercy and most importantly... love for our fellow man.  So, if you don't get anything else written here, my message for you today is...

LIVE ON PURPOSE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!