Self-Esteem - Part 3

Take heed what you put in your minds

& who you surround yourselves with

Do you have your inner armor on so that when someone speaks negatively against you, it doesn't pierce you?

Do you speak negatively to or about yourself to others and do you allow others to speak negatively to or about you?

i.e.: you make a mistake and say to yourself, “Stupid!  How’d you do that!”  This is a negative affirmation.

Never should that word come out of our mouths in dealing with anyone, especially ourselves!  And never allow anyone to belittle you. 

Instead, retrain your mind how to think and retrain yourself how to speak.  When you call yourself “stupid”, you are demeaning yourself and disrespecting yourself in your own eyes and in other people's eyes also.  As you continue saying things like that, you will begin to believe it.

Instead say, “wait a minute, I am not stupid… I am a very smart person who just made a mistake!”

Tell yourself positive things. Just as you would encourage your child to do better, encourage yourself the same way with kid gloves. 

Tell yourself that you are handsome or beautiful; tell yourself that you can get that job that you are interviewing for and that you are just as qualified as anyone else if not better; tell yourself that you can do the public speaking that you are afraid to do; tell yourself that you can get the A’s and B’s for your grades that you studied so hard for; tell yourself that you are going to ace your exams; tell yourself that you can do it.

Tell yourself positive things whenever doubt arises in your heart about who you are and what you can do.  Never give in to your doubts and fears.  Always fight against them with a new way of thinking and a new way of speaking positively.  When you change your way of thinking and your way of speaking, you change your state of mind thus changing your actions and your way of life.

Also, negative thoughts effect you physically negative.  With cancer patients, they have them get rid of unnecessary stress out of their lives as much as possible.  They have them get rid of any negative way of thinking.

If you think you’ll lose the battle… you just did! 

So, doctors always have cancer patients trying to think in positive ways of their healing and progress.

Negative thinking does the same thing. It is a cancer that eats away everything that you are and your hopes, dreams, and faith until you think that there is nothing left to fight for.

Don’t let it win today or anyday!

Self-Esteem - Part 2

The Power of Positive Thoughts

and Self-Affirmations  

As I was contemplating writing this post, I did a part of a devotional today that dealt with the power of the emotions.  I want to quote some of it here:

“The emotions are a vital part of the human personality.  They can be powerful motivators, both for good and for evil.  And, depending on the emotions, they make us happy, sad, fearful, or joyous.  Positive emotions can bring a feeling of satisfaction and well-being; negative ones tend to cause pain and anguish.  Though the first ones can promote mental health, a prolonged exposure to negative emotions may bring about behavioral and relational problems.  Thus emotions can play an important part in our overall well-being."   We sometimes succeed in gaining control over the emotions and other times give up control, allowing negative emotions to lead us into wrong actions.

How we think effects our emotions

and a specific action is the result.

i.e.: if we think someone is blaming us for something we didn’t do, we become defensive, or our feelings are hurt and we become angry and yell at them because of the accusation we think someone made against us.

Our actions are an end result of our

thoughts & feelings.

If we have positive thoughts, we will have positive feelings as well.  Our actions will also be positive and productive.  If we have negative thoughts, we will have negative feelings as well.  Our actions, more than likely, will be negative and produce negative results.

i.e.:  have you ever met someone who "felt" as though everyone was always out to get him or was against him?  This person is frequently defensive of things you say and negative in his outlook on life and often has drama in his life.

We must remember that how we think, effects how we feel and what we do.  These things do not only effect us, they effect everyone that we come in contact with... our friends, our families, our church family, our co-workers, etc... 

We are NOT an island unto ourselves... no, NOT EVEN a peninsula unto ourselves.  So, make the choice today to think positively, thus producing a positive output in your life and postively influencing others.

!Decide-Act-Change!

To learn more about the power of

positive thinking, please click here

Self-Esteem - Part 1

Self Esteem - What is it?

Self esteem is how you feel about yourself… what you think about yourself… and who you think you are. The experiences of our lifetime are the major factors that shape our self-esteem.

Does that mean that because I had a miserable childhood and a miserable past that my self-esteem is low?

While with a majority of folks, the answer would be yes, it is not necessarily so with all folks.

Does that mean that I am stuck with the way I feel about myself?

The answer is a resounding “NO!”

No one can MAKE us feel a certain way about ourselves. They may say mean and rough things. However, in the end, we decide if we will believe what they say. We decide how we feel about ourselves. By our actions and purposeful thoughts of everyday, we can alter the way we think about others and ourselves. You become changed by what you consistently behold, watch, listen to, and participate in.

For example: When a child is told, day in and day out, from parents, other family members, and family friends that he is stupid, that child grows up believing that he is stupid and sometimes fulfills that saying just because he believes that it is true because he had been told it for so long from so many people.

On the other hand: if that same child is taken from that atmosphere and is placed in a supporting environment where he is told that he is amazingly smart or that he can do it or that he can learn anything, that child will grow up to believe that he is smart and can learn anything because he had been told it for so long from so many people.

In the same way, we can alter our thoughts about who we are by the same techniques. It doesn’t happen over night but is a consistent and persistent necessity. It takes time, but as we put new positive self-affirmative thoughts in, the negative thoughts will eventually go out and what we think about ourselves will change as a result of the positive affirmations.

Almost every has at one time or another had to deal with self-esteem in one form or another. It is how we deal with that situation and how we let it affect us that will depend upon whether we begin to believe it and internalize it to change who we are.

It is very important to surround ourselves with those people who care about us and love us. Because those are the people who will find us of value to them and will be a great support system to encourage us when we need the encouragement and when we can't seem to encourage ourselves on those terribly bad days.

So, make wise decisions on who you make as friends and be sure that they are someone who isn't dipping out of your bucket, but instead is adding to it, thus adding to who you are.

Join me next week as we go over the importance of positive thoughts and self-affirmations in dealing with self-esteem.

Distractions - How To Overcome Them - Part 8

Helping Children to Limit Distractions

As parents we often multitask. We try to help with homework between stirring the sizzling dinner, doing laundry and answering the phone. With all the demands we have on our time, we don´t always seem to have a choice.

According to author David Rock "Every time you focus your attention, you use a measurable amount of glucose and other metabolic resources." So as we try to keep many plates spinning at one time, we becoming less efficient and effective in the tasks we perform. The same occurs with our children. It is difficult to concentrate on math problems when the TV is on in the next room, the cell phone is ringing and friends are sending instant messages on the computer. These distractions not only take up time, but also energy that is needed to focus on the more important task.

Glenn Braunstein, Chairman of the Department of Medicine at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, claims that we can only truly concentrate on one thing at a time. Our amazing brains allow us to toggle back and forth between tasks within milliseconds, but in the end, we are functioning inefficiently.

Try these distraction busting ideas with your children during homework time and see what works best.

Make a Daily Plan

Before beginning to work, ask your child to tell you all the homework he has to do that day. Make a list of the tasks and invite him to schedule a time to do each one. When there is a plan, he won´t be distracted by wondering what he should be working on or whether he remembers all of the assignments.

Do the Hardest Tasks First

Ask your child to look at the list and decide which tasks involve the most thought. When she schedules the tasks, remind her to put those tasks when she is the freshest. Saving them for last will only prolong the agony because she will be anticipating the chore and will be more prone to distraction making the activity take longer.

Divide Big Jobs into Smaller Chunks

Projects, long reading assignments and large numbers of math problems can cause children to be overwhelmed and tired. These seemingly never ending homework assignments lead children to be easily distracted. Anything to avoid the daunting task!!! By dividing the job into smaller pieces, the feeling of accomplishment serves as a motivator to continue and eliminates (or at least lessens) the heavy weight of the infinite task.

Allocate Time for Breaks

Including time for a healthy snack will keep the energy flow more consistent. Also, allocating a ten minute period to chat with siblings or friends, allows the child to focus on the work knowing that the chance to socialize is a part of the plan. A scheduled break from deep concentration allows your child to return to homework fresher and allows him to focus on the task at hand not guessing what his friends may be texting him.

Include Time to Reward Oneself

On most days, kids have spent most of the day in school and then need to come home to continue studying. Homework is not always fascinating, so children find themselves daydreaming about their favorite video games, television show or hobby. After completing a difficult task or a long portion of time studying, allow your child to be rewarded with 20-30 minutes to use as they please. This will refresh their minds, keep them balanced and give them a new energy to continue on.

Each child has different needs. Experiment with these suggestions to discover which ones streamline the homework process. Good luck!

Sherrie Hardy, M.A., MIMC, author of Beyond Labels-Helping Your Child Succeed In School, founder of Hardy Brain Training, Hardy Learning Center and Hardy Academy programs

If you would like to learn how to help your child succeed in school, please click here.

Distractions - How To Overcome Them - Part 7

Time Management and Distractions

After working intensely for hours on an arduous task, do you feel prone to respond to the first thing that grasps for your attention, no matter how unimportant?

Some tasks are long, painstaking and tedious.  So much so that you welcome any degree of distractions that come your way. Also, just as any voluntary muscle, the human brain gets exhausted by concentrated application especially when the task is dull and uninteresting. A break eases this fatigue. The human brain works best with a break after 90 minutes of work with its peak focus for about 45 minutes. I recommended that you do three 90-minute units of work in 8 hours for best productivity.

What happens if you do go beyond the recommended 90 minute time chunk? Two things happen. First, your productivity diminishes quite sharply. Second, you are an easy target for any distraction that comes your way no matter how miniscule it may be.

Let us say that you are laboring on a job expected to take about 4 hours to complete. After you work intensely on it for 90 minutes, your focus will fade so much so that you will become susceptible to interruptions. At this stage, you may end up with something that you don't really want to do and you wouldn't allow yourself to be distracted by under better circumstances. However, because you are fatigued of the chore at hand, you may end up with such a distraction.

What is the alternative? The choice is to intentionally sidetrack yourself.  Here is how it works:

1. Make a list of short tasks (10-15 minutes). This is the "deliberate distractions" list.

2. Set a timer for 75 minutes

3. After the timer’s alarm goes off, bring the main job to a reasonable pause, i.e. a safe state to be interrupted. Make a note of all the things that would permit you to resume the task easily.

4. Take a 20 minute break

5. Complete one of the tasks on your list of deliberate distractions.

6. Restart the 75 minute timer and resume the main task.

This is a very powerful tool to control brain fatigue.  Try these steps to eliminate the distractions from your everyday work activities.

**Just a side note... Many of us are parents, so I don’t want to just cover distractions in dealing with adults. Many of our children have issues with distractions also.  So, Join me Sunday for an extra segment on helping children to limit distractions too.

Until then... stay focused.

Distractions - How To Overcome Them - Part 6

How to Remove Workplace Distractions and Increase Productivity in a Virtual Work Environment?

By Gourab Nanda

"Work is hard. Distractions are plentiful. And time is short."

                                                                      - Adam Hochschild

     When we are distracted, our work quality starts to drop. We end up wasting a lot of time due to distractions. To be able to be productive, we must identify and block out these distractions. Weeding out distractions at the workplace and at an home office can make a remarkable difference in your productivity. Distractions have a deep impact on the way we work. It is crucial that we keep them in check. Every time you get distracted, it takes you 25 minutes to get back in the flow of things. How does one deal with this issue? Here are some steps to help.

First, identify factors that distract you. The most common factors contributing to distraction are as follows:                

1. Web surfing:  This as the highest cause of distraction while working. Since your web surfing is not checked at your home office, you end up spending more time on random searches, which wastes precious minutes. Even at your virtual office, keep your internet usage in check - set up a time to visit social media sites or do your personal web surfing. Find out the time when you are least productive and tired and need a break from work - utilize this time for doing leisure surfing. However, keep the time-spent in check.

2. Unhealthy work environment:  Loud environment, household distractions, uncomfortable seating arrangement, improper lighting of your workspace - all lead to discomfort and loss of productivity. Set-up a comfortable office space in your house and ensure that your family members respect your need for privacy. These distractions can be easily avoided.

3. Not Having a schedule:  Work during the most productive hours of your day and take breaks when you need rest. If you don't take a break every once in a while, you tend to be tired and might easily take random breaks that go on for a longer time. It is great to have a fixed time for lunch-hour/coffee breaks and closing time. This will also ensure that your clients don't call you during your leisure hours. The solution is to take a good look at the way you plan your day at work. Put aside a certain time to answer phone, calls, emails, etc.

Once you have a set schedule for each day, it will be easier to set a time and place for distractions. Distractions will happen. Let's not let them ruin our day. Once you begin to notice what distracts you, you will be more aware that it is an obstacle stopping you from achieving your goals and more likely to set a better time for it, or completely ignore it if it is not worth your time. Soon you will know how to overcome distractions in no time!

There will always be distractions that you cannot get rid of, but by getting rid of those that you can get rid of, you will increase your productivity and will be able to stay more motivated to work.

You know whether you are distracted or not… be honest with yourself, identify your distractions and take the necessary steps to prevent it. Yes, it requires setting boundaries and disciplining ourselves to stick to them. However, if we do these things, we become more productive and our outlook becomes more positive. Our state of mind changes, thus our physical state, financial state, and spiritual state will also change.

Join me Friday as we discover how "Time Management" can help you to overcome distractions and to be more productive and happy.

Distractions - How To Overcome Them - Part 5

REDUCING DISTRACTIONS

Have you ever found that the day is gone and you wondered what you accomplished in that day? How much of that time was wasted on your distractions? What distracts you the most at work? At the end of the day, many of us want to go to bed feeling as though we accomplished and completed tasks that were set before us for that day. Knowing how to overcome distractions, preparing and completing a prioritized “to do” list will help you to know and feel that you have been productive that day and that your day was not wasted.

Distraction is something that is in all of our lives and we will always have it in our lives. It is what we do with it that matters. Some distractions can’t be avoided and will ruin our plans for the day. Others can be avoided and we should do what we can to put them in their proper place. Again, they will always be there, so there is no eliminating them, but instead, place them where they can turn into a positive experience. The best way to destroy an enemy is by making it your friend. This principle is the same with distractions. Don’t let it be your enemy, give a time and place where it is welcome.

I will cover some items and give some suggestions that I hope will help you.

**Be Organized**

Being organized is the first and most important about reducing and/or avoiding distractions. This means you should have all your files, pens and notebooks in a place where you know where to find them, so that you will not be distracted by having to look for them when you need them. This will also help to save you a lot of time.

**Internet**

For the Internet, boundaries will need to be set for getting your work done. Do your work, until completed, in the morning and prepare a set time for internet browsing after work.

**Phone**

If the phone, whether it be phone calls or the phone features, are a distraction for you, then put the phone away and turn the ringer off. Allow the voice-mail to answer and then just return missed calls after you have completed your work.

**E-Mail/Chat/Messenger**

You should turn off your email/chat/messenger client or any other alerts which you may be getting on your computer.

**No office? Ear Plugs Needed** 

Sometimes you may not have the convenience of your own office and may have to resort to a corner somewhere in the same room as where everyone else is. This situation could make it rather difficult for you to concentrate on your tasks, so you may want to use earplugs so you can tune everyone out until your work is done. This allows everyone else to continue with his or her activities, without distracting you. Earplugs can also be helpful if your office is situated in a noisy neighborhood where you cannot avoid the noise of everyday life.

**Music** 

Generally you will not want music on, but in certain situations on-going music may help you to drown out any noise in the background that is distracting you or assist you in concentrating on the task at hand.

For those who work at home - Get An Office

The best way to eliminate distractions is to designate one room as your home office. This will get you away from the commotion of everyday life and you will be able to avoid most distractions. If you do not have such a room you may want to look for a quiet corner and inform your family that that is your work corner and when you are in it, you are not to be interrupted.

Join me Wednesday as we cover how to remove workplace distractions and increase productivity in a work environment.

Distractions - How To Overcome Them - Part 4

Distracted by Family, Friends & other things?  Not sure which to pay heed to?

9. Family & Friends

As an entrepreneur whose working from the home, you are around your family and friends more. If that becomes a distraction, then things need to change and boundaries need to be set and respected by your family and friends.

To learn how to set boundaries, please click here.

Just because you are home doesn’t mean you are not at work. When working, domestic life must not interfere.  Now, I know that sounds cold and it is very difficult to do.  Unless your spouse works outside of the home and it is your responsibility to care for the kids’ needs, communicate with your spouse and help him/her to understand the importance of being able to solely put a specific time frame for work where you will not be interrupted. Negotiate responsibilities in the home and activities for after work time.

If friends are calling on you during work times, inform them of your work hours and let them know that you will not be available until after that time.

Now, it may take a few times of reminding family and friends to respect your work time.  However, if you stand by your decision consistently, it will get your point across eventually.

10. Procrastination

Entrepreneurs, especially those working in the home, can easily begin having issues with laziness and procrastination if they are not careful.  Delaying tasks begin to happen and then scurrying to complete the task by a given deadline occurs.  We talked in previous blogs about procrastination and what it does. 

To learn how to deal with Procrastination, click here

Procrastination sets up that stress and guilt that we don’t want or need.  Again, set boundaries.  If you have a project to do for work, set a goal or to do list with the steps necessary to complete it and give yourself time for each task.  Then, one by one, do the least desirable task first.  Complete each step until the task is fully finished and plan to complete it before the deadline.

For more information on procrastination and how to deal with it, please search the Blog Archive for Oct. 25.  Join me Monday as we cover additional things that you can do to help with miscellaneous distractions.

Distractions - How To Overcome Them - Part 3

 

Puzzled by how food, e-mails, and working all the time can be a distractor?  Take a look at the next 3 distractions.

6. Food/Snacking

 

     Because the kitchen is right outside of your door, food becomes another well-known distraction. The temptation to snack or cravings nag at you. However, as the health professionals recommend, if you eat small frequent meals during the day, it will help to curb the temptation to snack and helps the cravings. Don’t over-indulge. Set boundaries for yourself of when you will eat and how much and you will be doing great things for your weight, your health, and your business too.

7. Emails

     E-mail marketing is great for businesses. However, if you do not have a separate business e-mail account from your personal e-mail account, or if you have not filtered your work from your personal, then you are getting distracted and ignoring the business e-mails which, right now, during work hours, have higher priority. Although merging e-mail accounts are available through Google, it is recommended that you keep them segregated for the sake of your business.

8. Working All The Time/Time Management

     A problem that entrepreneurs face is that they do not have a set time for work hours, therefore, they work all the time, 24/7. Although tempted during family time to check site traffic or business e-mails, set boundaries for yourself between business and domestic life. When working, give yourself completely to work. When spending time with the family, give yourself completely over to spending that quality time with your family. Everyone will be happier for it. Everyone needs a life outside of work; work all the time and you will burnout quickly and your family life will suffer. Work smarter then you will be efficient and successful and on-going in business and family life.

 

We can overcome these things in life only if we see them for what they are and change our state of mind.  It is important to Decide-Act-Change.  If you continue to do the same things that you always do, you will continue to get the same results.  Join me Friday as we cover Family, Friends, and Procrastination as a part of "Distractions"  Adios! 

Distractions - How To Overcome Them - Part 2

Sometimes, just the fact that some things exist distracts us.  The next 3 items are a few of those things.

3. Television

It is easy when things catch your attention on TV and diverts your mind, thus causing you to forget that you are an entrepreneur and your business needs you to spend time on it in order to succeed. If you are someone who gets distracted by the TV and cannot ignore it, then put some time management skills into play. Schedule time to watch TV. Maybe put in a break in your day… a lunch hour during that favorite TV program time, that way, you get a break from your business and you are not interfering with what needs to be happening during work time. Then, you are refreshed and able to focus on what matters. Is it cheating… no, even at regular jobs you get a lunch break or 15-minute breaks. Then, when work time resumes, turn the TV off to prevent further distraction.

4. Social Networking

Social networking, Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc… are some of the top 10 distractions while working. If you are using it for business… that’s good. However, if you are updating folks on personal activities, then you are distracted. Become ‘invisible’ in the chat rooms so others don’t know that you are online. Limit your personal interactions for after work or for during your break time.

5. Search/Browsing

When browsing the internet, there is such an amazing amount of info that you can literally get lost in just searching. Be sure to stay focused on your search so that an inter-link, that has nothing to do with work, does not sidetrack you. The best solution is to subscribe to RSS and read what you love after completing your work for the day.

I hope this helps you in your quest today for overcoming distractions and thus changing your state of mind.  Join me Wednesday as I cover Food, E-mail, and Working all the time in dealing with distractions.

Distractions - How To Overcome Them

Distractions... you can't work with them and you can't live with out them! 

Everything in our lives can become a distraction.  It is a part of our everyday lives for every person on this earth.  It is how we deal with them that decides whether they become a distraction or not.

If you are an entrepreneur, being your own boss is the most valued gratification for you in a home-based business. With this understanding, you know that this choice comes with the brute fury of distraction.

These distractions seem extremely inconsequential in comparison of what you desire to accomplish. These distractions may seem very insignificant, but if you think about the trifling endeavors that obstruct your efficiency and output, you will realize that they prevent you from living victoriously.

Everything you do in dealing with distractions will require setting boundaries.  If you have difficulty setting boundaries in your life for yourself, family, or friends, please get the book called "Boundaries" by clicking here.  It will help you to learn how to do it. 

Here is a list of the most prevalent distractions that can sidetrack your mind, and thus your work, too easily. See where you have been misusing your time in any of these things. Then contemplate on how to minimize them. Each day this week, I will put up a few new ones for you to consider.

1. Phone

Even if you are working in a relaxed setting of your home in absolute seclusion, one phone call from a friend or family can easily railroad you off track. You could be very interpersonal, and accepting ongoing, non-business related calls become a normal practice for you. BUT, when it comes to work, keep these calls at arms length. Turn your ringer off or just don't answer the incoming calls during work hours unless your business is dependent on answering the phone... OR... Let friends and family know that you are at work and cannot talk. Then, put the phone away as to not be tempted to play with the many features provided.

2. Daily Chores

With working at home, we have the freedom to work at our own pace, including doing chores. However, if you are interrupting your work time to complete the daily chores, then the chores have become a major distraction for you. It is important to set boundaries of your professional verses your domestic life. If you do not set these boundaries, then you will continue to be distracted by them and you will continue to not be as productive as you could be. Make believe that your office is outside of the home at another building and that you are not available for the domestic duties until you get off of work and go home just like any other job.

Remember, as we change our thoughts, our state of mind changes also, thus our behavior changes in accordance to the thoughts that we have.  So, let's keep distractions out of our minds so that we can be more productive in whatever activity we are doing.  Join me Monday as we talk about how Television, Social Networking, and Browsing can be distractions.  Also, if you have a testimony on how you were able to overcome a distraction in your life, please feel free to share it in our comments section.